Category: blondes

One day, a blonde wife, roughly 25, wanted to prove to her husband that not all blondes were dumb. So she decided she was going to paint the house while he was at work. When her husband got home,he noticed that she was digging through the closet,looking for something.
When he asked her what she was doing, she said,”the paint can said,for best results,to use two coats.”

Why did the Blonde jump off the Empire State Building? Because she said her maxi pad had wings.

Q. How did the blonde die ice-fishing?
A. She was run over by the zambonis machine.

Q: What’s dumber than a redhead and a brunette trying to build a house underwater?

A: A blonde trying to set fire to it.

A dumb blonde, a smart blonde and Santa Claus are walking down the street and see a twenty dollar bill lying on the sidewalk. Guess who picks it up?

The dumb blonde – The other two don’t exist.

How can you tell if a blonde has been using a computer?

The joystick is wet and theres white out on the screen!

Two blondes are walking in the forest they came to some tracks. The first one said those are dear tracks, the second one said they are moose tracks. They were still arguing when the train hit them.

A blonde and a brunette were walking down the street together when the brunette said “oh, look a dead bird!”.
The blonde looked up and said “where,where?”

Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?A: Flattered.

A certain young man finally won a date with the blonde female of somewhat questionable morals that lived in his apartment complex.To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself.

Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof, and managed to get a sunburn on his “tool of the trade”. But the young man was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze.

The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a homecooked dinner, after which they went into the livingroom to watch a movie. During the movie, however, the young man’s sunburn started acting up again.He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen, and poured a tall, cool glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain.

The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his johnson immersed in a glass of milk. Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed, “So that’s how you guys load those things!”

What did the blonde think of the new computer?

She didn’t like it because she couldn’t get HBO

What is the difference between a blonde and a microwave?

When you put a piece of meat in the microwave it doesn’t scream!