Category: blondes

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

A1: “What’s a lightbulb?”
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, “Daaady!”

Q: How do you kill a blonde?

A: Put spikes on their shoulders and ask them a question.

A brunette was on some train tracks jumping up and down saying,”14, 14, 14…”

A blonde walked up and asked, “What are you doing?”

“Jumping up and down on the train tracks.”

“Can I join you?”

“Sure.” so the brunette resumed her jumping up and down with the blonde. Soon a train approached. The two continued jumping, but at the last minute, the brunette jumped out of the path of the train. The blonde was squashed.

After the train had passed, the brunette got back on the train tracks, jumping up and down saying, “15, 15, 15…”

Q: Why do blondes like the GST? (GST — Goods and Services Tax now in effect
in Canada)
A: Because they can spell it.

Q: What happens when a blonde doesn’t pay his garbage bill? A: They stop delivering.

A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found her
alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself
for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over
the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode
in.
Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down
carefully and with considerable appreciation.
“Miss Smith,” he said finally, “it seems quite obvious to me that until today
you have never undergone an eye examination.”

Once there was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They decided to make their very own record and they plan to make it on MTV some day. After years and years of practice they called in and asked to perform. They had to prove they were good enough so the mailed the host of MTV a video. A few days later they all found out they did make it to MTV so they rehearsed plenty of times and had everything going perfect. They were going to be the greatest performers ever. After driving for about 20 hours they were tired but still planned to be great the next day. They arrived on the set of MTV to perform. The blonde was suppose to be in charge of the drumrole when the host said to do so. He said,”Ladies and gentlemen, listen up for the new pop stars of 2002.” Then opened an envelope and said “Could I get a drumrole please?” So the blonde picked up the drum, roled it across the stage and hit the host and killed him therefor they were not excepted to perform anywhere else and were locked up for a cuople years.

lesson:if you want a career, don’t kill your boss or any hosts!!!

2 blones are sitting in a parking lot trying to get there mecedes open with a close hanger so the first blone say hurry up its starting to rain we better put the roof up… lol

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive
blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to
the mail box.

She opened it, then slammed it shut, and stormed back in the
house. A little later she came out of her house and again went to
the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out
again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it
closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked
her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer
keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”

Why did the blond jump off the building?

She wanted to see if her Maxi-pad realy had wings!

What does a blonde make best for dinner?

Reservations.

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a herd of goats pass.Admiring the cute creatures, she said to the goatherder, ”If I can guess how many goats you have, can I take one?”.The goatherder, always the gentleman replied, ”Of course.”The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said, ”352.”This being the correct number, the goatherder was, understandably totally amazed and exclaimed, ”You’re right! Okay, I’ll keep my end of the deal. Take your pick of my herd.”The blonde carefully considered the entire herd and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.When she was done, the goatherder turned to her and said, ”Okay, now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?”