Category: blondes

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing; so, after reading many books on the subject and gathering all of the necessary equipment, she made for the nearest frozen lake.
After positioning her comfy foot stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, as if from the sky, a voice boomed out, HEY, YOU, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a cup of cappuccino from her Thermos, and began to cut another hole. Again, a voice boomed, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!
The blonde, now worried, moved to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and once again tried to cut the ice hole. Once more, the voice said, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!
The blonde stopped, looked skyward, and said, Who are you, God? The voice replied, NO, I AM THE OWNER OF THIS ICE RINK!

A blonde and a brunette jump off a building. which one will reach the floor first, the brunnette because the blonde will stop and ask for directions.

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the
bottom of the pool!

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level. The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realises she doesn’t hear anything from the Blondes upstairs.She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.She says, “What the heck’s goin’ on up here? We’re havin’ a grand time downstairs!” One of the Blondes looks up and says, “Yeah, but you’ve got a driver!”

Q: What do yuo call two blondes in a bag?

A:Twinkies

Q.how do you drown a blonde
A.put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

A blonde went to her mail box several times way before it was time for the
Mailman to make his rounds.

A neighbor noticed her repeated trips to the curb and asked if she was waiting
for a special delivery.

“No,” she replied, “My computer keeps telling me I have
Mail.”

~ she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

~ if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you’d get change back.

~ they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.

~ under “education” on her job application, she put “Hooked On Phonics.”

~ she tripped over a cordless phone.

~ she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

~ at the bottom of the application where it says “sign here”… she put ‘Sagittarius.’

~ she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

~ it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

~ if she spoke her mind, she’d probably be speechless.

Submitted by Yisman
Edited by Calamjo

A blonde had some goldfish and she did not know how to feed them. So she called her brunette friend, and she showed her how. Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said, ”Now, what do I give them to drink?”

Why did the Blonde throw bread crumbs down the loo??

To feed the toilet duck!!!

– she thought TuPac Shakur was a jewish holiday- she sent me a fax with a stamp on it- she thought a quarterback was a refund- she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order- she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center- she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats- under “education” on her job application, she put “Hooked On Phonics”- she tried to drown a fish- she tripped over a cordless phone- she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said “concentrate”- she put lipsick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind- she got stabbed in a shoot-out- she told me to meet her at the corner of “WALK” and “DON’T WALK”- she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death- if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you’d get change back- they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade- she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept- at the bottom of the application where it says “sign here”… she put “Sagittarius”- she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store- it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes- if she spoke her mind, she’d probably be speechless- she studied for a blood test – and failed- she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train- she sold the car for gas money- when she saw the “NC-17” (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends- when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved- she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill- when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead- when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said “Airport Left” she turned around and went home

why did the 3 blondes jump off the building? they wanted to see if thier maxi- pads really had wings