Category: blondes

Once there was a blonde who was hitch-hiking on the side of the road. Finally a truck came and the driver asked “you want a ride?” and the blonde answered “yes” and climbed in the back of the pick up.
As they were driving over a bridge the truck swerved and ran off the bridge into the water. The driver quickly got out through the window of the truck and waited up on shore for the blonde.
10 minutes later the blonde shows up on the shore. “What took you so long?” asked the driver. The blonde replied “I couldn’t get the tailgate open.”

Mary went to Jill’s place to tell her about a horrible experience she’d had the previous night with this guy she brought home.”Well, what happened when you got there?” Jill asked”The bastard called me a blonde slut!” Mary said.”And what did you do then?” Jill asked, shocked.”I told him to get the hell out of my bedroom and take his eight friends with him!”

Q: What does a blonde owl say?A: What, what?

Man: I hear that the workers are on strike for shorter hours.
Blonde: Good–I always thought that 60 minutes was too long for
an hour.

Woman: I see you are taking French lessons–why is that?
Blonde: I’ve adopted a French baby and I want to be able to
understand him as soon as he talk.

Very Proud Mother: My son has been walking ever since he was 7
months old!
Blonde: Wow, really?!
Mother: Yes!
Blonde: Well, he must be awfully tired!!

Q.Why did the blonde climb over the mirror?
A.To get to the other side.

Q. A blonde and a brunette are pushed out of an airplane. Which one hits the
ground first?
A. The brunette, because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde went on a trip to the desert.
They each brought one item for survival.

The red-head brought water. The blonde asked, “Why?” The red-head
replied, “To prevent us from dying of thirst.”

The brunette brought food. The blonde asked, “Why?” The brunette
replied, “To prevent us from dying of hunger.”

The blonde brought a car door. The red-head and brunette asked,
“Why?” The blonde replied, “To roll down the window if it gets hot.”

2 blondes are driving to disneyland when they come to a fork in the road. By the road there is a sign saying Disneyland: left.
So they turned round and went home!!!

Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, “Next”.
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He’s had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?A: She saw “911” on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

A very well-built young blonde was lying on her psychiatrist’s couch,
telling
him how frustrated she was.
“I tried to be an actress and failed,” she complained. “I tried to be a
secretary
and failed; I tried being a writer and failed; then I tried being a sales
clerk and I failed at that, too.”
The shrink thought for a moment and said… “Everyone needs to live a
full,
satisfying life. Why don’t you try nursing?”
The blonde thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful
breasts,
points it at the shrink, and says… “Well go ahead, I’ll give it a try!”

A Blonde was driving down the road, and spotted another
Blonde in the middle of a hayfield rowing a boat. She stopped the car, got out
and went to the shoulder of the road, and yelled, “You know, it’s blondes like
you that give blondes a bad name!, and if I could swim I would come out there
and kick your ass!”