Category: blondes

Q: What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you? A: Run like hell – he’s still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.

Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and the Atlantic Coast?
A: The Atlantic Coast would never have that many crabs.

How many minutes does it take a blonde to screw in a light bulb?
She doesn’t know � she’s used to screwing other things.

A blonde walks into a hair dresser with a walkman on. She tells the guy to cut whatever he wants just as long as he cuts around the headphones. So the guy says cool until he runs into a problem, he says “Ms.?” “Ms.?” Finally he just takes them off and the blonde drops dead!!
He puts the headphones on and he hears “BREATHE IN…..BREATHE OUT…..BREATHE IN…..BREATHE OUT.”

Did you here about the blonde who called tech support because when she typed in her password, all she got were little stars?–Submitted by pump67

A blonde walked into a gas station and told the manager, ”I locked my keys in
my car and I was wondering if you had a coat hanger I could stick through the
window and unlock the door.” ”Why, sure,” said the manager, ”we have
something that works especially for that.” A couple minutes later, the manager
walked outside to see how the blonde was doing. He heard another voice. ”No,
no, a little to the left,” said the other blonde inside the car.

Q. Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished the jigsaw puzzle after
only 6 months?
A. Because on the box it said: From 2-4 years.

Three blondes died in a car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question.

The question posed by St. Peter is “What is Easter”?

The first blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy! It’s the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey and are thankful…”

“Wrong!, you are not welcome here, I’m afraid. You must go to the other place!” replies St. Peter. He turns to the second blond, and asks her the same question: “What is Easter?”

The second blonde replies, “Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus.”

St Peter looks at the second blonde, bangs his head on the on the pearly gates in disgust and tells her she’s wrong and will have to join her friend in the other place. She is not welcome in Heaven. He then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, “Do YOU know what Easter is”?

The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St Peter in the eyes, “I know what Easter is.”

“Oh?” says St Peter, incredulously.

“Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder.”

St Peter smiled broadly with delight.

The third blonde continued… “Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter.”

um once there was this dumb blonde and she was so stupid that when she tried to breathe out she in hailed.

yeeeeaahh@!

One day there was a blonde that walked into the mall and asked the clerk if she could buy this tv. the clerk said we dont sell to blondes. so she went to dye hair and she dyed it green. Went back and asked if she could buy this tv. He said we dont sell to blondes. so she went and and dyed her hair purple and went back to the store and asked if she could buy that tv. he said that we dont sell to blondes. she said how did you know i was a blonde he said that it wasnt a tv it was a microwave.

Once there was this brunette who was driving her corvette with the wind in her hair.

She looked and she saw a farmer with a flock of sheep so she drove over and asked the farmer “if I can guess how many sheep in you’re flock will you give me a sheep.”

The farmer says “OK”.

The brunette says “485”.

The farmer says “that’s right but if I can guess you’re natural hair color can I have my sheep back”.

the brunette says “OK”.

The farmer says “blonde”.

The brunette says how did you know.

The farmer says you just picked the dog.

Q: What’s a blonde’s favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Hump me Dump me.