Category: blondes

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde
jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her
husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she
decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the
task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell
of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in
a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at
the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is
doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are
dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has
a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions
on the paint can and they said….

(scroll down)… I love this one …

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.

How do you teach a blonde maths?

Plus her head
Divide her arms
Subtract her legs
Give her a square root
And see if she Multiplys

Two blodes were at a gas station one blode got out to go and get some food she comes back and say’s i have locked my keys in my car!! so she goes to get some help moments later she comes back with a coat hanger and she stickes the hanger in the car window and the blond in the car is sittin there saying “a little to the left back to the right”.

A woman decided to get her house re-painted. She hired a man to
be in
charge of the painting. The man went over to the woman’s house
one
day, and they began to decide what color she wants the rooms
painted.

They walked into the entryway and the woman said, “I want this
roompainted light pink.”

So the man wrote something down on his notepad, went over to the
window, opened it, and yelled, “GREEN SIDE UP!!” out the window.

The woman thought that this was weird, but she didn’t say
anything.
They went on to the next room, the dining room. The woman said,
“I
want this room painted lilac.”

So again, the man wrote something down on his notepad, went over
to
the window, opened it, and yelled, “GREEN SIDE UP!!” out the
window.

The women almost said something, but decided not to. They went
into
the next room, which was the woman’s bedroom. The woman said,
“I want
this room painted blue.”

So the man wrote something down on his notepad, went over to the
window, opened it, and yelled, “GREEN SIDE UP!

The woman said, “I said I wanted this room to be blue.”

The man said, “Yeah, that’s why I wrote down blue on my note
book.”

“But then why did you yell ‘green side up’ out the window?”

The man then replied, “Oh, I’ve just got a couple of blondes out
there
laying sod, and I just had to remind them how the sod goes.”

How many blonde jokes are there?

None, there all true!

Q: Why do blondes like the GST? (GST — Goods and Services Tax now
in effect in Canada)
A: Because they can spell it.

Q: What is 74 to a blonde?
A: 69 plus G. S. T.

One day a blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor.

Doctor: What was your dream about?
Blonde: I was being chase by a vampire!

Doctor: (giggles quitely) So… what is the scenery like?
Blonde: I was running in a hall way.

Doctor: Then what happened?

Blonde: Well that’s the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can’t open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn’t budge!

Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?
Blonde: Yes it did.

Doctor: And what did these letter spell?
Blonde: It said “Pull”

how do u kill a blonde?

put a scrathc and sniff sticker at the botton of a pool

There were three girls — a brunette, a redhead and a blonde. They each were asked what one thing would they bring to the desert. The brunette said I would bring food in case I got hungry. The redhead said, “I would bring water in case I got thirsty.” and the blonde haired girl said, “I would bring a car door, in case it got hot I could roll down the window!”

One day there were three men(a red, a brunette, and a blonde
head) They were traveling on buisness when there plane crashed.
All they could see was a farm house. They all went up to the
farmer and asked if they could stay at his house. The farmer
replied, “only if you can stick 100 of any fruit up your ass.”
So they agreed. The first man, the red head, went first. He went
for the blueberries because they were the smallest.

“Remember” ,said the farmer, “You have to do it silently. No
crying, laughing, or talking.”

The red head got 50 Blueberries in his asshole but started
to cry. The farmer shot him because he didn’t want the man
hanging around.

The same routine happened agian, but, this time the brown
head went for the next smallest fruit, strawberries. He got 99 n
but started to laugh. The farmer shot him.

In heaven the red head asked th other man,” you had 99.
Why’d ya laugh?”

“I saw the blonde guy go for the watermelons”,said the brown
head.

A blonde rings up a pizza place and says:
” Can i have a large pepperoni pizza for delivery please?””

The pizza guy says:
“” sure would you like it to be cut into 6 pieces or twelve?””

The blonde says:

“” can you cut it in to 6 please. I dont think i could manage twelve.

“