Category: blondes

There was this blonde girl who had gotten fed up with blonde jokes, so she decided to dye her hair black.

So she did, and she was sooooo happy with it that she went to her car and drove around just to show off her new look. She was coming up to this intersection when she saw a shepeherd by the road waiting to cross with his flock of lambs. The girl stopped and waved him to pass.

While the flock was crossing the road, she asked the shepherd – “If I can guess how many sheep you got there, would you give me one?”

He thought about the offer for a minute and decided it was ok. The girl looked at the flock and exclaimed “487”. The shepherd said “WOW! That’s right…well…take any sheep you like…a deal’s a deal”

So she gets the animal and happily puts him in the back of her car, when the shepehrd says “WAIT!

Now I have a deal for you…. if I guess the real color of your hair can I have my dog back?”

THERE WAS THESE 2 MEN AND A BLONDE.ONE DAY,THE FIRST MAN WENT HUNTING AND CAME BACK WITH A GIANT RABBIT.THE SENCOND MAN AND THE BLONDE ASKED HOW DID U GET THAT?THE FIRST MAN SAID I FOLLOWED THE TRACKS!THEN THE SECOND MAN WENT OFF AND FOLLOWED THE TRACKS AND CAME BACK WITH BACK WITH A GIANT RABBIT.THE BLONDE ASKED HOW DID U GET THAT?I FOLLOWED THE TRACKS.THE NEXT DAY THE BLONDE SET OUT AND FOLLOWED THE TRACKS AND HEARD A CHOO!CHOO!

Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks.
The first blond said “These look like deer tracks,” and the other one said,
“No, they look like moose tracks.” They argued and argued for a while and
they were still arguing when the train hit them.

One day a brunette mother walks in her daughter’s room, she sees a cigarette pack on the floor and says, “I didnt know my daughter smoked.”

The same day a redheaded mother is looking in her son’s room and sees a beer bottle on the floor and says, “I didn’t know my son drank.”

The same day, a blonde mother is in her daughter’s room and sees a condom on the floor and says, “I didn’t know my daughter had a penis!”

A blonde was driving down the highway and was swerving all over the place.Finally she was pulled over by a state trooper. and he asked her what the problem was. She says there are all these trees in the road .The trooper looks out of the car and loks back and says lady those are your air fresheners.

(I’ll tell you tomorrow.)

A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop. The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun.

So he told her that all she had to was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out. After 15 minutes of this, the blonde’s blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing.

“I’m trying to pop out this dent, but it’s not really working.”

“Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!”

What did the blonde do when he heard that 90% of accidents occur within five miles of home?He moved ten miles away.

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde
jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her
husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she
decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the
task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell
of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in
a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at
the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is
doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are
dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has
a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions
on the paint can and they said….

(scroll down)… I love this one …

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.

How do you teach a blonde maths?

Plus her head
Divide her arms
Subtract her legs
Give her a square root
And see if she Multiplys

Two blodes were at a gas station one blode got out to go and get some food she comes back and say’s i have locked my keys in my car!! so she goes to get some help moments later she comes back with a coat hanger and she stickes the hanger in the car window and the blond in the car is sittin there saying “a little to the left back to the right”.