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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender for some drinks:
Brunette: “I’ll have a B and C.”
Bartender: “What is a B and C?”
Brunette: “Bourbon and Coke.”
Redhead: “And, I’ll have a G and T.”
Bartender: “What’s a G and T?”
Redhead: “Gin and tonic.”
Blonde: “I’ll have a 15.”
Bartender: “What’s a 15?”
Blonde: “7 and 7.”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her
first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight
attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he
noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the
hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her. She answered the phone,
crying, and said, “I can’t get out of the room!” “You can’t get out of your
room?”; the captain asked. “Why not?” She replied, “There are only three doors
in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a
sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”
What’s the mating call of the blonde?
“I’m sooo drunk!”
What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
(Screaming) “I said: I’m drunk!”
what did the blond say when she opened up a box of Cherrios?
A: Wow! Look..doughnut seeds!
what does blondes and bricks have in common?
they are both dirty and get laid by mexicans
A very well-built young blond was lying on her psychiatrist’s couch, telling him how frustrated she was. “I tried to be an actress and failed,” she complained. “I tried to be a secretary and failed; I tried being a writer and failed; then I tried being a sales clerk and I failed at that, too.”The shrink thought for a moment and said… “Everyone needs to live a full, satisfying life. Why don’t you try nursing?” The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful breasts, points it at the shrink, and says… “Well go ahead, I’ll give it a try!”
A Sailor is sitting at a bar one night and is chatting it up with a beautiful blonde. After some drinks she starts to cry and tell him the sad story that she is Polish and misses home terribly but can’t afford to buy a ticket to go home.
The sailor tells her his profession and makes a deal with her.
“I’ll hide you away on my ship on one condition.
You have to have sex with me when I ask.”
She hugs him, crys and agrees. So late that night they sneak on to his ship and he hides her in a big life boat with a canvas cover. He tells her he’ll bring her food and water and she’ll just have to stay hidden because she’ll be in big trouble if she’s caught.
So for the next three weeks he brings her rations every day and sleeps with her every night.
Finally one day the captain is strolling on deck, sees something suspicious and lifts the cover discovering the girl. He yells “STOWAWAY!”
Scared she explains: “Dont be mad at me sir. One of your sailors stowed me away to take me home to Poland, and is having sex with me for payment!”
“No kidding? Lady… this is the Staten Island Ferry!”
Why is it easier to maake a snowman with black hair than a snowman with blonde hair?
Because you have to hollow out a blonde snowmans head!
So there were two smart gals and a blonde. two guys came to kidnap them.the 2 kidnappers tied one of the smart ones to the pole. He takes out a gun and points it at her. he said ready aim and the girl said tornado the two kidnappers looked behind them and she got away them and there was nothing there. the other smart one did the same. when the put the blonde to the pole they say ready aim then the blonde screamed fire and they shot her.
Two blondes were walking in the woods when they came upon some tracks in the dirt, the first blonde says, “Look at those bear tracks”. The second blonde says,”Those aren’t bear tracks, those are deer tracks”.The first blonde says “No they’re not, there bear tracks”. The second blonde argues back.”No they’re not, they’re deer tracks.”Then, they both got hit by the train.
“Excuse me, could you tell me the time?” asked the blonde of a man on the street corner.
“Sure….it’s three fifteen,”he replied with a smile.
“Thanks,” she said, a puzzled look crossing her face.”You know, it’s the weirdest thing-I’ve been asking that question all day long, and each time I get a different answer.”
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.