Category: blondes

This blonde heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 30 litres of milk.

When the milkman read the note he felt there must be a mistake, and thought she probably meant three litres, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, ‘I found your note to leave 30 litres of milk. Did you mean 30 litres or three litres?’

The blonde said, ‘I want 30 litres. I’m going to fill my bath up with milk and take a milk bath.’

The milkman asked, ‘Pasteurized?’

The blonde said, ‘No. Just up to my tits.’

One day a brunette mother walks in her daughter’s room, she sees a cigarette pack on the floor and says, “I didnt know my daughter smoked.”

The same day a redheaded mother is looking in her son’s room and sees a beer bottle on the floor and says, “I didn’t know my son drank.”

The same day, a blonde mother is in her daughter’s room and sees a condom on the floor and says, “I didn’t know my daughter had a penis!”

There was this blonde girl who had gotten fed up with blonde jokes, so she decided to dye her hair black.

So she did, and she was sooooo happy with it that she went to her car and drove around just to show off her new look. She was coming up to this intersection when she saw a shepeherd by the road waiting to cross with his flock of lambs. The girl stopped and waved him to pass.

While the flock was crossing the road, she asked the shepherd – “If I can guess how many sheep you got there, would you give me one?”

He thought about the offer for a minute and decided it was ok. The girl looked at the flock and exclaimed “487”. The shepherd said “WOW! That’s right…well…take any sheep you like…a deal’s a deal”

So she gets the animal and happily puts him in the back of her car, when the shepehrd says “WAIT!

Now I have a deal for you…. if I guess the real color of your hair can I have my dog back?”

THERE WAS THESE 2 MEN AND A BLONDE.ONE DAY,THE FIRST MAN WENT HUNTING AND CAME BACK WITH A GIANT RABBIT.THE SENCOND MAN AND THE BLONDE ASKED HOW DID U GET THAT?THE FIRST MAN SAID I FOLLOWED THE TRACKS!THEN THE SECOND MAN WENT OFF AND FOLLOWED THE TRACKS AND CAME BACK WITH BACK WITH A GIANT RABBIT.THE BLONDE ASKED HOW DID U GET THAT?I FOLLOWED THE TRACKS.THE NEXT DAY THE BLONDE SET OUT AND FOLLOWED THE TRACKS AND HEARD A CHOO!CHOO!

Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks.
The first blond said “These look like deer tracks,” and the other one said,
“No, they look like moose tracks.” They argued and argued for a while and
they were still arguing when the train hit them.

What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence.

It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke. So
she went to the coke machine and put her money in, and a coke came out so she
kept putting money in it, and since it was a hot day a line had formed behind
her. Finally the man behind her said, ”Will you hurry up we’re all hot and
thirsty!” And the blonde turned around and said, ”No way. I’m still winning.”

Q: How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

A: Put her in a round room and tell her to stand in the corner!

A blonde was driving down the highway and was swerving all over the place.Finally she was pulled over by a state trooper. and he asked her what the problem was. She says there are all these trees in the road .The trooper looks out of the car and loks back and says lady those are your air fresheners.

(I’ll tell you tomorrow.)

What did the blonde do when he heard that 90% of accidents occur within five miles of home?He moved ten miles away.

A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop. The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun.

So he told her that all she had to was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out. After 15 minutes of this, the blonde’s blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing.

“I’m trying to pop out this dent, but it’s not really working.”

“Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!”