There was a boy with speach problems and his mother asked him if he could by her a few things at the shops. First he went to the hardware store and he asked for a fucket and the shop keeper says a what? and the boy said a fucket there about that big and you can fill it with water and the shop keeper said oh a bucket so he gave the a bucket the boy went to the bakery and asked for a bum and the bakery guy said a what? a bum there about this small and you can put salad in them and the bakery guy said oh a bun so he gave the a bun then the boy went to the pet store and asked for a cockandspankit. then the shop keeper said a what? then the boy said a cockandspankit there about this big and they bark then the shop keeper said oh a cockinspaniel so he gave him the dog the boy went up to a police officer and said can you hold my bum and fucket while i go chase my cockandspankit
Author: admin
Another Tattoo down there…
A guy walks into a whorehouse. On his dick it says “Shortie’s.” One of the whores felt bad for him so she gives him a blow job.All the other whores were laughing at her until they came out of the room. It turns out that his dick said “Shortie’s Bar and Grill in Albuquerque, New Mexico.” Submitted by Jeff Wynne
Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a
Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?
Pregnecy and you
Q: Whats the Difference between a pregnent woman and a light bulb?
A: You can un screw the light bulb!!
Redneck quickies 10
You might be a redneck if…
You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
You’ve ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow.
The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is “What the h–l are you looking at, Sh-thead?”
You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
You’ve ever shot a deer from inside your house.
The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are “Howdy!”, “HEY!” or “How Y’all Doin’?” (If they respond with the same… they’re a redneck too!)
You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
You’ve ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.
You clean your nails with a stick.
You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
Patent Office
This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs.
He says to the clerk, “I’d like to register my new invention. It’s a folding
bottle.”
“OK,” says the clerk. “What do you call it?”
“A fottle, replies the inventor.”
“A fottle? That’s a stupid! Can’t you think of something else?”
“I can think about it. I’ve got something else though. It’s a folding carton.”
“And what do you call that?” asks the clerk.
“A farton”, replies the inventor.
“That’s rude. You can’t possibly call it that!”
“In that case,” says the inventor…
“You’re really going to hate the name of my folding bucket.”
Weed
Smokers Live and Smokers Die
in the end we all get high
if at first you don’t succeed
buy a bigger bag of weed
Pot is a Plant that lives on the ground
if God didn’t smoke it…it wouldn’t be around
So for all those little Angels that never get high
Fuck the world and give it a Try
Sex and Drugs and Rock’n’Roll
Speed and Weed and birth control
first you live and then you die
fuck the world come on get high
Roses are Red
Weed is shit
Fuck the world
and Give me some mint
Weed and Speed and Alcohol
Cindy Crawford has a mole
Heath Ledger Fucked his mum
so come over here and give me some…
Headaches & Age
Two old guys were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject turned to getting older. The first guy said, “Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older.”
“What do you mean?” asked the second guy.
“Well,” replied the first. “I can barely remember the last time I was able to get it up in bed, but my wife is healthier than ever!”
“Healthier? How is that?” his buddy wondered.
“Years ago, when we were younger, almost every night before bed she’d get these terrible headaches” he answered. “Now that we’re older, she hasn’t had a headache in years.”
Penguins in their spare time
What do you call black and white and black and white and black
and white and black and white and back?
a penguin rolling down a hill.
what do you call something black and white and laughing?
The penguin standing at hte top of htis hill laughing at the
penguin rollign down.
Last Buffalo
An Indian brave returns from a scouting trip and seeks out the Chief.”Chief, I have bad news, worse news and good news.”The Chief asks for the bad news first.Scout says, “No more buffalo on reservation, we kill last one today.”Chief asks for the worse news.Brave says, “Our land is being overrun by white men. They are coming by thethousands.”Finally the chief asks for the good news.The brave says, “Chief, the white men taste just like buffalo.”
Yo Mamma
Yo mammas so stupid she sat on the tv and watched the couch
Will this operation hurt me at all?
Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor?Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown.