To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter
more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then
going alphabetically by national order.
Author: admin
Not too many elephants finish high school.
Why don’t more elephants go to college?
Not too many elephants finish high school.
Prescribed
A badly constipated man went to the doctors. The doctor prescribed suppositories and told the man to take one once every four hours. The man left the doctor, happy that his problem would soon be gone.
When he got home, he took a suppository, swallowing it with a glass of water. Four hours passed. Nothing happened. But he figured that these things take time, so he swallowed another one, hoping he would reap the benefits very soon. After several days of taking the suppositories every four hours, he was still constipated, so he returned to the doctor.
When he explained that he took one every four hours, as prescribed, the doctor exclaimed, “What are you doing? Swallowing them?”
The man replied sarcastically, “No, I’m shoving them up my arse!!!”
Genie In A Bottle
Two men are walking along the beach on day when they find a bottle buried in the sand. As they are brushing the sand off, a genie pops out and tells them he will give each of them one wish.
After thinking a moment the first man says, I wish I were the world’s smartest man.”
“Done, says the genie, and the man suddenly starts explaining Einstein�s Theory of Relativity to his friend.
The second man thinks for a moment, then says, “I want to be smarter than him!”
“Done,” says the genie, and turns him into a woman!
Enlargement Pills
A Mexican and a cowboy both entered a pharmacy one day and asked
the pharmacist if he had anything to make their dicks grow
bigger. The pharmacist said, “Yes, I have these pills. How many
would you like?”
The Mexican replied, “I will only take two because I don’t want
it to be too big to carry!”
The Cowboy then said, “Give me four-I want it big-REALLY BIG!”
So the pharmacist gave them the pills and asked them to return
in two weeks time to show him the results of the enlargement.
Two weeks later the Mexican arrived back in the shop and said,
“My rope is so long you have too walk really straight or it
falls out!”
A few seconds later the Cowboy entered with his huge cock in one
hand swinging it about and yelling, “Yee Haw!”
I Thought You Were M
A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly.He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.””Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!” she screamed.”Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”
A Blonde Visit to D.C.
A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it, so she asked a police officer for directions –
“Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?”
The officer replied, “Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It’ll take you right there.” She thanked the officer and he drives off.
Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and,
sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop.
The officer got out of his car and said, “Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus and that was three hours ago! Why are you still waiting?”
The blonde replied, “Don’t worry, officer, it won’t be long now…
The 45th bus just went by!”
Webster’s Clintonese
“My fellow citizens” = “Suckers”
“I didn’t inhale” = “I think you’re all idiots”
“goals” = “lies”
“broad-based contributions” = “taxes”
“investing in our infrastructure” = “pork-barrel spending”
“spending cuts” = “decimating the military”
“jobs program” = “military base lay-offs”
“Vietnam” = “where?”
“Attorney General” = “the first semi-qualified woman I could find without a
criminal record”
“God bless America” = “God help us, ’cause I don’t have a clue”
Pregnecy and you
Q: Whats the Difference between a pregnent woman and a light bulb?
A: You can un screw the light bulb!!
Another Tattoo down there…
A guy walks into a whorehouse. On his dick it says “Shortie’s.” One of the whores felt bad for him so she gives him a blow job.All the other whores were laughing at her until they came out of the room. It turns out that his dick said “Shortie’s Bar and Grill in Albuquerque, New Mexico.” Submitted by Jeff Wynne
People don’t care how much
People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
Jack and Jill (version 2)
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana,
Jack got high,
pulled down his fly,
and asked Jill if she wanna.
Jill said yes,
pulled up her dress,
and had a little fun.
but stupid Jill forgot the pill,
and now they have a son.