A Sultan, whose loves grew so vastly,
Just couldn’t love any steadfastly.
Someone asked him in fun,
If he’d slept twice with one.
He replied, “Just the thought is most ghastly.”
Author: admin
Knock Knock 107
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Juno!
Juno who!
Juno what time it is!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Jupiter!
Jupiter who!
Jupiter fly in my soup!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Jussi!
Jussi who!
Jussi fruit!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Justice!
Justice who!
Justice as I thought, no one home!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Justin!
Justin who?
Justin time for tea!
Manolo le conf�a a Venancio:
Manolo le conf�a a Venancio:
“Hombre, no se lo digas a nadie pero estoy enga�ando a mi esposa”.
“Pero, �c�mo es eso de que est�s enga�ando a tu esposa?”
“S�, f�jate que ayer la encontr� en mi cama con otro hombre”.
“�Pues no que t� eres el que la est� enga�ando!”, exclama sorprendido Venancio.
“S�, es que ella todav�a no sabe que yo s�”.
How to Blow your money !!
One day a man decided to geta tattoo on his penis, his wife asked
were have u been all day, he said to get a tattoo on his penis. The
wife asked why? He said so u can stay home and blow money!!
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have…
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
– No ballroom.
What’s the difference between a
What’s the difference between a black and a white fairy tale?
A white one starts off with “Once upon a time…”.
A black one starts off with “Yo ass ain’t gonna believe dis shit…”
This guy walks into a bar in Alabama and orders…
This guy walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a white wine. Everybody
sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and
says: “You ain’t from around here, are ya… where ya from, boy?”
The guy says, “I’m from Iowa.”
The bartender asks, “What th’ hell you do in Iowa?”
The guy responds, “I’m a taxidermist.”
The bartender asks, “A taxidermist… now just what th’ hell is a
taxidermist?”
The guy says “I mount animals.”
The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, “It’s OK boys, he’s one
of us!”
Man’s Sex Life
It seems that when the Lord was making the world, he called man over and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life. Man was horrified. “Only twenty years of normal sex life?” but the Lord was very adamant, that was all man could have.Then the Lord called the monkey and gave him twenty years. “But I don’t need twenty years”, he protested, “ten is plenty for me.” Man spoke up eagerly, “Can I have the other ten?” The monkey graciously agreed.Then the Lord called the lion and gave him twenty years, and the lion, like the monkey wanted only ten. Again the man spoke up, “Can I have the other ten?” The lion said of course he could.Then came the donkey and he was given twenty years-but like the others,ten was sufficient-and again man pleaded, “Can I have the other ten?” The donkey said yes he could.This explains why man has twenty years of normal sex life, plus ten years of monkeying around, ten years of lion about it, and ten years of making an ass of himself.
An appendix is something found
An appendix is something found in the back of a book.
Sometimes they get in people and have to be taken out.
1. RE�NANSE TODAS LAS PERSONAS
1. RE�NANSE TODAS LAS PERSONAS EN UN SOLO LUGAR
As� es m�s f�cil que los rescatistas encuentren todos los cuerpos de una vez y no pierdan tiempo buscando por aqu� y por all�.
2. AGUANTE LA RESPIRACI�N
Luego se acaba el ox�geno dentro de los escombros.
3. GUARDE LA CALMA
De todos modos… ya qu�.
4. TENGA A LA MANO UNA IDENTIFICACI�N
Hay que cooperar para la identificaci�n de cad�veres.
5. NO UTILICE LOS ELEVADORES NI LAS ESCALERAS
Solito va a llegar a la planta baja o al s�tano.
6. SI ESTA INGIRIENDO ALIMENTOS, DES�CHELOS
Con todo el tiempo que va a pasar para que lo encuentren, se pueden descomponer y producir mal olor, lo que puede confundir a los perros de rescate.
7. SI SOBREVIVE ENTRE LOS ESCOMBROS, NO GRITE
No gaste energ�a, no lo van a escuchar y puede despertar el p�nico.
8. SI SOBREVIVE ENTRE LOS ESCOMBROS Y VUELVE A TEMBLAR, NO SE MUEVA DE SU LUGAR
De todos modos no puede.
9. ESPERE A SER RESCATADO
�Que otra!
10. BUSQUE A LOS ARQUITECTOS, INGENIEROS Y ALBA�ILES QUE CONSTRUYERON EL EDIFICIO DONDE USTED SE ENCONTRABA
Dem�ndelos, s�balos a la monta�a rusa y deles una pedrada en la cabeza para que vean lo que se siente.
Why can’t you be like that?
Jill tells her husband, “Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses.Now, why can’t you do that?””Gosh,” Jack says, “why I hardly know the girl.”
Virgin Birth
A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter’s swollen abdomen.It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, “Gimme a break, lady! Your daughter is pregnant!”The mother turn red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that *her* daughter was a good girl, and would *never* compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy.The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon.The mother became enraged and screamed, “Quit looking out the window! Aren’t you paying attention to me?””Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma’am. It’s just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came. I was hoping they’d show up again, and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant!”