There were three men stranded on an island. They had been there for a very long time, when one morning a magic lamp washed up on the shore. The men saw it and picked it up. The men rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared. After the genie rose up he granted the men one wish each. The first man thought about his wish and made it count. After thinking, the man finally said, “I wish I was back at home.” Then, poof, he disappeared. The second man thought about his wish also. Finally, the man said, “I wish I was at home with my family.” Then, poof, he vanished. The last wish went to the last man on the island. He looked around and felt very lonely. It took a while to think of a good wish and finally an idea came to him. The third man said, “I wish that my two best friends were back on this island with me.” Poof, the two other men appeared on the island again.
Author: admin
Holding up the fingers
As a golfer teed up at precisely his reserved time, he was tapped on the
shoulder.
The intruder handed him a note which read, “I am deaf and mute. Please let me
play through.”
“This is MY tee-off time,” the golfer bellowed, shaking his head vigorously.
“Your handicap doesn’t entitle you to play through!”
Then he proceeded to drive his ball straight down the fairway.
“Nice shot,” the fellow’s caddie said as they headed off the tee, leaving the
deaf-mute fuming.
While lining up his next shot, the golfer was struck on the head by a ball.
Turning around angrily, he spotted the deaf-mute holding up his hand.
“What is he doing?” asked the golfer, squinting into the sun.
“I believe he’s holding up four fingers,” the caddie replied!
Manolo le conf�a a Venancio:
Manolo le conf�a a Venancio:
“Hombre, no se lo digas a nadie pero estoy enga�ando a mi esposa”.
“Pero, �c�mo es eso de que est�s enga�ando a tu esposa?”
“S�, f�jate que ayer la encontr� en mi cama con otro hombre”.
“�Pues no que t� eres el que la est� enga�ando!”, exclama sorprendido Venancio.
“S�, es que ella todav�a no sabe que yo s�”.
The funniest joke of the year
what loses their head in the morning and gains one at night?
a pillow!! ha ha ha
Man’s Sex Life
It seems that when the Lord was making the world, he called man over and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life. Man was horrified. “Only twenty years of normal sex life?” but the Lord was very adamant, that was all man could have.Then the Lord called the monkey and gave him twenty years. “But I don’t need twenty years”, he protested, “ten is plenty for me.” Man spoke up eagerly, “Can I have the other ten?” The monkey graciously agreed.Then the Lord called the lion and gave him twenty years, and the lion, like the monkey wanted only ten. Again the man spoke up, “Can I have the other ten?” The lion said of course he could.Then came the donkey and he was given twenty years-but like the others,ten was sufficient-and again man pleaded, “Can I have the other ten?” The donkey said yes he could.This explains why man has twenty years of normal sex life, plus ten years of monkeying around, ten years of lion about it, and ten years of making an ass of himself.
How to Blow your money !!
One day a man decided to geta tattoo on his penis, his wife asked
were have u been all day, he said to get a tattoo on his penis. The
wife asked why? He said so u can stay home and blow money!!
Knock Knock 107
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Juno!
Juno who!
Juno what time it is!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Jupiter!
Jupiter who!
Jupiter fly in my soup!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Jussi!
Jussi who!
Jussi fruit!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Justice!
Justice who!
Justice as I thought, no one home!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Justin!
Justin who?
Justin time for tea!
In a Happy Mood!
Mrs. Jammer, shopping in the supermarket, went from counter to counter humming and singing to herself.”You seem to be very happy,” remarked the clerk.”I have every reason to be,” replied Mrs. Jammer.”I’ve got a beautiful home, two lovely children, a nice bank account, my husband’s life is insured for $450,000… …and his health is far from robust.”
Tree
how do you get a nigger out of a tree?
cut the rope.
What’s the difference between a
What’s the difference between a black and a white fairy tale?
A white one starts off with “Once upon a time…”.
A black one starts off with “Yo ass ain’t gonna believe dis shit…”
Dinosaur
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Megasorass.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
En casa del veterinario suena
En casa del veterinario suena el tel�fono a la una de la ma�ana:
“�S�?”, contesta aturdido el experto.
Detr�s de la l�nea, se escucha la voz de una anciana:
“�Por favor, necesito su ayuda: mi pobre Fif�, que es una perrita preciooosa, est�… Eh… Siendo apareada por un enooorme pastor alem�n! �Es horriiiible, parece que se han quedado atascados o algo as�, y mi pooobre Fif� est� aullaaaando de dolor! �Podr�a usted hacer algo?”
“Grrrmmfs… Mire, �por qu� no cuelga el tel�fono, despu�s lo pone al lado de una oreja del pastor alem�n y yo la vuelvo a llamar en un minuto?”
“�Pero eso bastar� para separarles?”
“�Se�ora, el mismo truco acaba de separarme a m� de mi esposa!”