The makers of Preparation H, a well know treatment for haemorrhoids, today recalled all of their products from store shelves nationwide.Reports of tampering have surfaced and, upon investigation, officials have found evidence that someone has inserted a form of deadly poison into the products which, if used, will kill instantly.Reports are just now beginning to trickle in however, it appears that thus far the tampered with Preparation H may be responsible for the deaths of at least a dozen….assholes.
Author: admin
Dinosaur
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Megasorass.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
General Kitchy Kitchy
Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?
A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.
Wishes split three ways
There were three men stranded on an island. They had been there for a very long time, when one morning a magic lamp washed up on the shore. The men saw it and picked it up. The men rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared. After the genie rose up he granted the men one wish each. The first man thought about his wish and made it count. After thinking, the man finally said, “I wish I was back at home.” Then, poof, he disappeared. The second man thought about his wish also. Finally, the man said, “I wish I was at home with my family.” Then, poof, he vanished. The last wish went to the last man on the island. He looked around and felt very lonely. It took a while to think of a good wish and finally an idea came to him. The third man said, “I wish that my two best friends were back on this island with me.” Poof, the two other men appeared on the island again.
Holding up the fingers
As a golfer teed up at precisely his reserved time, he was tapped on the
shoulder.
The intruder handed him a note which read, “I am deaf and mute. Please let me
play through.”
“This is MY tee-off time,” the golfer bellowed, shaking his head vigorously.
“Your handicap doesn’t entitle you to play through!”
Then he proceeded to drive his ball straight down the fairway.
“Nice shot,” the fellow’s caddie said as they headed off the tee, leaving the
deaf-mute fuming.
While lining up his next shot, the golfer was struck on the head by a ball.
Turning around angrily, he spotted the deaf-mute holding up his hand.
“What is he doing?” asked the golfer, squinting into the sun.
“I believe he’s holding up four fingers,” the caddie replied!
This guy walks into a bar in Alabama and orders…
This guy walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a white wine. Everybody
sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and
says: “You ain’t from around here, are ya… where ya from, boy?”
The guy says, “I’m from Iowa.”
The bartender asks, “What th’ hell you do in Iowa?”
The guy responds, “I’m a taxidermist.”
The bartender asks, “A taxidermist… now just what th’ hell is a
taxidermist?”
The guy says “I mount animals.”
The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, “It’s OK boys, he’s one
of us!”
Top 10 Reasons Trick or Treating’s Better…
Top 10 Reasons Trick or Treating’s Better Than Sex
10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, wait 10 mins. & go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave u candy.
6. Person giving you candy doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else.
5. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last 9 months.
4. If you wear your Batman mask, no-one thinks you’re kinky.
3. Doesn’t matter if kids hear u moaning & groaning.
2. Less guilt the next morning.
and the #1 reason trick or treating’s better than sex…
1. If you don’t get what you want, you can always go next door!
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have…
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
– No ballroom.
Ways to confuse a roommate
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.179. Walk into walls.
En casa del veterinario suena
En casa del veterinario suena el tel�fono a la una de la ma�ana:
“�S�?”, contesta aturdido el experto.
Detr�s de la l�nea, se escucha la voz de una anciana:
“�Por favor, necesito su ayuda: mi pobre Fif�, que es una perrita preciooosa, est�… Eh… Siendo apareada por un enooorme pastor alem�n! �Es horriiiible, parece que se han quedado atascados o algo as�, y mi pooobre Fif� est� aullaaaando de dolor! �Podr�a usted hacer algo?”
“Grrrmmfs… Mire, �por qu� no cuelga el tel�fono, despu�s lo pone al lado de una oreja del pastor alem�n y yo la vuelvo a llamar en un minuto?”
“�Pero eso bastar� para separarles?”
“�Se�ora, el mismo truco acaba de separarme a m� de mi esposa!”
The funniest joke of the year
what loses their head in the morning and gains one at night?
a pillow!! ha ha ha
How to Blow your money !!
One day a man decided to geta tattoo on his penis, his wife asked
were have u been all day, he said to get a tattoo on his penis. The
wife asked why? He said so u can stay home and blow money!!