An appendix is something found in the back of a book.
Sometimes they get in people and have to be taken out.
Author: admin
Entra un tipo al consultorio
Entra un tipo al consultorio del psiquiatra, mir�ndolo de arriba abajo:
“Doctor, tengo complejo de superioridad”.
“No se preocupe, amigo, yo lo voy a curar…”
“�Pero qu� me va a curar usted, in�til!”
The funniest joke of the year
what loses their head in the morning and gains one at night?
a pillow!! ha ha ha
En casa del veterinario suena
En casa del veterinario suena el tel�fono a la una de la ma�ana:
“�S�?”, contesta aturdido el experto.
Detr�s de la l�nea, se escucha la voz de una anciana:
“�Por favor, necesito su ayuda: mi pobre Fif�, que es una perrita preciooosa, est�… Eh… Siendo apareada por un enooorme pastor alem�n! �Es horriiiible, parece que se han quedado atascados o algo as�, y mi pooobre Fif� est� aullaaaando de dolor! �Podr�a usted hacer algo?”
“Grrrmmfs… Mire, �por qu� no cuelga el tel�fono, despu�s lo pone al lado de una oreja del pastor alem�n y yo la vuelvo a llamar en un minuto?”
“�Pero eso bastar� para separarles?”
“�Se�ora, el mismo truco acaba de separarme a m� de mi esposa!”
Water momma
Yo Momma is soo fat that when she jumps in the ocean everyone yells tsunumi
A Sultan, whose loves grew
A Sultan, whose loves grew so vastly,
Just couldn’t love any steadfastly.
Someone asked him in fun,
If he’d slept twice with one.
He replied, “Just the thought is most ghastly.”
Me!
TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WILLIE: Me!
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo
Knock Knock 107
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Juno!
Juno who!
Juno what time it is!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Jupiter!
Jupiter who!
Jupiter fly in my soup!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Jussi!
Jussi who!
Jussi fruit!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Justice!
Justice who!
Justice as I thought, no one home!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Justin!
Justin who?
Justin time for tea!
Guaranteed to Get You Slapped !!!
1. Why did God create woman?
To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
2. If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true
love?
The swallow
3. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
Phone her.
4. Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they think men care.
5. What is the definition of “making love”?
Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
6. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant.
7. What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak [whole
week..!]
8. How many male sexists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
9. Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and
refrigerator..
10. What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she’s been told twice already.
11. How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
12. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you,
what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long.
13. How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.
14. How is a woman like a condom?
Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
15. Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
She knows she’s given her last blow job.
16. What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps
with everyone at the party except you.
17. What’s the difference between love, true love, and showing
off?
Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
18. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
19. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.
Holding up the fingers
As a golfer teed up at precisely his reserved time, he was tapped on the
shoulder.
The intruder handed him a note which read, “I am deaf and mute. Please let me
play through.”
“This is MY tee-off time,” the golfer bellowed, shaking his head vigorously.
“Your handicap doesn’t entitle you to play through!”
Then he proceeded to drive his ball straight down the fairway.
“Nice shot,” the fellow’s caddie said as they headed off the tee, leaving the
deaf-mute fuming.
While lining up his next shot, the golfer was struck on the head by a ball.
Turning around angrily, he spotted the deaf-mute holding up his hand.
“What is he doing?” asked the golfer, squinting into the sun.
“I believe he’s holding up four fingers,” the caddie replied!
Wishes split three ways
There were three men stranded on an island. They had been there for a very long time, when one morning a magic lamp washed up on the shore. The men saw it and picked it up. The men rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared. After the genie rose up he granted the men one wish each. The first man thought about his wish and made it count. After thinking, the man finally said, “I wish I was back at home.” Then, poof, he disappeared. The second man thought about his wish also. Finally, the man said, “I wish I was at home with my family.” Then, poof, he vanished. The last wish went to the last man on the island. He looked around and felt very lonely. It took a while to think of a good wish and finally an idea came to him. The third man said, “I wish that my two best friends were back on this island with me.” Poof, the two other men appeared on the island again.
General Kitchy Kitchy
Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?
A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.