wHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE WITH 2 BRAIN CELLS?
pREGNANT
Category: blondes
Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
They both drip when they’re screwed.
Andy is God’s son
A blonde dies and goes to the pearly gates of heaven to meet Saint Peter…
He first tells her that the only way she can get through the gate is to pass a quite simple test.
“What is The Son Of Gods name?” He asked.
She thought for a minute rubbing her chin in deep thought.
“Andy!” She bursted out with a gleaming smile.
“No, I’mm sorry that is incorrect, what made you say that?” He asked.
She starts singing… “Andy walks with me, andy talks with me, andy tells me…”
Natural born blondes
Q- How does a blonde respond to a boy when he says I got beef?
A- When can i jerk?
Q- How does a blonde respond when her friend says “me and some girl had beef at the chinese restaurant earlier today”?
A- dID YOU TWO HAVE THAT WITH BROCOLLI.
Q- What did the girl say to the cat?
A- mE got pussy too?
Into Thin Air
Question:What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up on each other? Answer:An air mattress.
Shortage of parachutes
A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane. The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all five of them. The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped. The pope told the brunette to take the last one. The brunette said, “There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my backpack!”
Blonde Joke
Q: What do you get when a blonde and a gang member have a kid?
A: A juvenile delinquent that sprays grafitti on chain-link fences.
Deeper valleys
Q: What’s the difference between Indiana and a blonde?
A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.
Jail Break
There were these three women who escaped from prison. A blonde and two brunets. So to get away from the cops they hid in an abandoned farm house. In the farm house there were three burlap sacks sitting around. So they hid in them. When the cops came to the farm house the one of the cops saw the sacks, the officers yells, “There’s just three burlap sacks in here!” To which his partner replies, “Then kick them just to be sure it’s not them hiding”. The officer goes and kicks the one with the brunet in it and she yells, “MEEEYYOWW!” the officer said “Oh, its just a stupid cat in there.” So he kicks the one with the other brunet in it and she yells, “RUUFFF RUFFF!”, so the officer says, “Oh, it’s just a stupid dog!” Then he kicks the sack with the blonde in it and she yells, “POTATOES!”
You got Mail!
One day A Blonde girl was running out to check her mail and a neighbor was watching. 5 minutes later she checked it again this happened all through the day till the neighbor went outside and stopped her and asked her why she kept looking in her mail box and her reply was.
“My computer keeps telling me I have mail!”
Other ear
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
“How did this happen?” the emergency room doctor asked her.
“Well, I was trying to commit suicide,” the blonde replied.
“What?” sputtered the doctor. “You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?”
“No, Silly!” the blonde said. “First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I’m not shooting myself in the chest.”
“So then?” asked the doctor.
“Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.”
“So then?”
“Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.”
Subbmitted by Calamjo
Edited by Glaci
Bus stop
What do u call 5 blonds at a bus stop?
_(a wind tunnel)