Category: blondes

A blonde went into the store to buy a box of condoms and the store clerk
said that will be 3.95+tax. The blonde cried out, “Tacks! I thought they
stayed on by their self!”

At a pharmacy, a blonde asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she
held in her arms. The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but
said that she would figure the infant’s weight by weighing the woman and baby
together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the
second amount from the first.
“That won’t work,” countered the woman. “I’m not the mother, I’m the aunt.”

One day a blonde went to the store to buy a puzzle. She comes back home and starts to work on it. Finally, she gets stuck and calls her boyfriend over to help her.

He comes over and says,”Uh honey, thats not a puzzle, thats Kelloggs.”

(Q)What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
(A) Full

A blonde and a brunette were sitting on the park bench when the brunette said, “My boyfriend used to have dandruff but then I gave him head and shoulders”. The blonde said, “How do you give a man shoulders?”

Q: what did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: “oh look! Donut seeds!”

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into.

The firemen yell to the Brunette, “Jump! Jump! It’s your only chance to survive!”

The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away…the
Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

“C’mon! Jump! You gotta jump!’ say the firemen to the Redhead.

“Oh no! You’re gonna pull the blanket away!” says the Redhead.

“No! It’s Brunettes we can’t stand! We’re OK with Redheads!”

“OK” says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.

Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell “Jump! You have to jump!”

“No way! You’re just gonna pull the blanket away!” yelled the Blonde.

“No! Really! You have to jump! We won’t pull the blanket away!”

“Look,” the Blonde says, “nothing you say is gonna convince me that you’re not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it . . .”

A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. “So, miss, can you tell us your age, please?”
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying “Ehhhh .. 22!”.
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. “And can you tell us your height, please?”.
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces “Five foot two!”.
This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. “And ehh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?”
The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying “Mandy!”.
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks “Just out of curiosity, miss. We can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?”
“Ohh that!”, replies the blonde, “That’s just me running through ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you….’ “

Q: What are 74 to a blonde?
A: 69 plus G.S.T.

This Blond suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her. She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and, sure enough, she opens the door to find him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blond is angry.

She opens her purse, takes out the gun but, as she does she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and points to her head.

The boyfriend yells “No, honey, don’t do it.”

The blond replies “Shut up, you’re next.”

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?

A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

How do you drown a blond?

You put a scratch & sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.