Category: blondes

Q….
OK, there’s a smart blonde, a brunette, and Santa Claus on top of the Empire State Building. If they all jump off at the same time, who will hit the ground first?

A….
The brunette, because the other two don’t exist!

If a blonde adds the numbers 1+2+3+4+5, what does she get?
A headache.

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees’ well being, asked sympathetically, “What’s the matter?”

To which the blonde replies…..”Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.”

The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. “Why don’t you go home for the day…..we aren’t terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest.”

The blonde very calmly states……”No, I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.”

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual… “If you need anything, just let me know.”

Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!! He rushes out to her, asking, “What’s so bad now……..are you gonna be ok??”

“No……” exclaims the blonde. “I just got a call from my sister. She told me that HER mom died too!!”

Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?They went to see “Closed for the Winter”.

What did the blonde name her pet zebra?

Spot.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo

Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?A: Shine a torch in her ears.

There was this blonde lady in a row boat in the middle of the desert
rowing this boat. In the middle of this desert there was a road. Another blonde lady was
driving down the road and saw the other blonde lady, she stopped her car got out
and yelled,
“Your the reason blondes have such bad names!!! If I could swim,
I’d go out there and kick your ass!!!”

How do you know that a blonde has been using your computer? – there’s tipex on the monitor How do you know if another blonde has used it? – there’s writing on the tipex!

There are three girls strainded on an island: A brownhead from New York, A redhead from Nevada, and a blonde from Texas. THey find a geni bottle, and are all granted 1 wish each. The Brown wishes to go back to New York, so poof she was in New York. The red wishes to go back to Nevada, so poof she was in Nevada. The Blonde says that since those were her best friends she wants them both back here.

A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife
(undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, �How
should I know, that�s 200 miles from here!� and hung up. The husband said, �Who
was that?� The wife said, �I don�t know, some woman wanting to know �if the
coast is clear.�

Q: What’s the difference between a blonde’s breasts and a tampon?A: A tampon doesn’t shrivel when wet. Q: how are a blonde’s breasts and my P.J.’s alike?A: They both have a lable that says, “100% cottonQ: how are a blonde’s breasts and a pad alike?A: Niether are recomended for the beach and both come in different absorbency levels.

Q: What did the blonde’s mom say to her before she went out?
A: If you’re not in bed by midnight, come home.