How do you get a twinkle in a blonde’s eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Category: blondes
Coke machine
A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke.
The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins.
She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and, of course, the machine keeps feeding out drinks.
Another woman walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before asking if someone else could have a go.
The blonde spins around and shouts in her face, ‘Can’t you see I’m winning?’
Why did the Blonde c
Why did the Blonde cross the road? Who cares, what the hell is she doing out of the kitchen!
Nails & Blondes
Two blondes were working on a house. The one who was nailing down siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either tossit over her shoulder or nail it in. The other blonde, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, “Why are you throwing those nails away?”
The first blonde explained, “If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it’s pointed TOWARD me I throw it away ’cause it’s defective. If it’s pointed toward the HOUSE,
then I nail it in!”
The second blonde got completely pissed off and yelled, “You MORON! The nails pointed toward you aren’t defective! They’re for the OTHER side of the house!”
Blonde quickies 9
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and “The Titanic”?
A: They know how many men went down on “The Titanic”.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a telephone?
A: It costs 25 cents to use a telephone.
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a limo?
A: Not everybody has been in a limo.
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly pygmies?
A: One’s a bunch a cunning runts …
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don’t let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.
Q: What’s the difference between a blond having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won’t follow you around for a week.
Her ankles.
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Grenade
What do you do if a blonde chucks a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
What do blonds and s
The harder you bang them the looser they get
Blondes
These three women go into a clothing store, a blonde, a red, and a brunette. When they enter the clerk tells them that there is a magic mirror in the fitting and that if you lie you will disappear. The red women goes in and asks for 5,000, when she goes home her house is full of money. The brunette asks for a Mercedes Benz and the keys appear on her hand and the Mercedes is waiting for her outside. The blond goes and says,”I think…..””The blond disappeared because she had said a lie.
“
The Official Blondes Sex Quiz
1. Pubic hair is a wild rabbit in the Outback.
2. “Spread Eagle” is an extinct bird.
3. A menstrual cycle has three wheels.
4. The G-string is part of a violin.
5. Anus is the Latin word for yearly.
6. Testicles are found on an octopus.
7. Foetus is a character in “Gunsmoke”.
8. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute.
9. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.
10. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.
11. Sodomy is a special kind of fast growing grass.
12. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origins.
13. Douche is the Italian word for twelve.
14. An enema is someone who is not your friend.
15. Scrotum is a small moon orbiting Uranus.
16. Climax is a weather balloon.
17. Condom is a small apartment complex.
18. Menopause is a button on the VHS remote control.
What did the blonde do when she got her period?
Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her.
Mount Everest
11 people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope
suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest. Ten
were blonde, one was a brunette.
As a group they decided that one of the party should let go. If
that didn’t happen the rope would break and everyone would
perish. For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered.
Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she
would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others. The
blondes all applauded.