why did the 3 blondes jump off the building? they wanted to see if thier maxi- pads really had wings
Category: blondes
Real blonde
There was a blonde driving through the country. She just dyed her hair brown because she was sick of being made fun of her hair color.
She was really hungry so she stopped at a farmer’s house and says, “Hi, If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I have one?”
The farmer agreed. So she quickly counted them and said, “91.”
The farmer looked around puzzeledly and said,”Ok. Take one.”
When the blonde was walking back to her car the farmer asked, “If I can guess your natural hair color, can I have my dog back?”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
three blonds walk into a bar the third one…
three blonds walk into a bar the third one ducks.
Bashing Blondes…part 1!
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A She gets the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she’s pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: “Is it mine?”
Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde’s life?
A: Third grade.
Q: What did the blonde get on her IQ test?
A: Saliva.
Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.
Blondes & Computers
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer? A: The joystick is wet.
TGIF
A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he enter
the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted
him by saying, “T-G-I-F”.
He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T”.
She looked at him, puzzled, and said, “T-G-I-F” again. He
acknowledged her remark again by answering, “S-H-I-T.”
The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest
smile and said as sweetly as possibly, “T-G-I-F” another time.
The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a
quizzical expression, “S-H-I-T.”
The blonde finally decided to explain things, and this time she
said, “T-G-I-F. It means Thank Goodness It’s Friday.’ Get it?”
The man answered, “S-H-I-T……Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday.”
Birth Control Pills
Upon returning to their car from a shopping tour, one of the young ladies realized that she had forgotten to stop at the pharmacy for her birth control pills.
She rushed into the nearest pharmacy and gave her prescription to the pharmacist.
“Please fill this immediately,” she asked. “I’ve got people waiting in my car!”
Nine holes in mirror
Why was there 9 holes in the mirror?
The blonde tried to shoot herself.
Cinder-Block
A blonde had 3 children, the oldest walks up to her and asks “momma why is my name floating flower?” and the blonde replies “well when you were a baby a flower floated on your head.” “thanks mom” then the middle child comes up and say whyd you name me flower feather and she replied because when you were born a beautiful feather floated on your head. the kid thanked her and left. then the blonde hears “mwahugugfah”*in mental voice(no fense any1)* then the blonde replies “shut up cinder block”
She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
How to Drown a Blonde
Q:how do you drown a blonde???
A:put a scratch and sniff sticker in the bottom of a swimming pool!!!
Dumb Blonde GUY!
There were three guys working on the 50th floor of a
building. One was Mexican, one was Irish, and the other was a
blonde. Well one day they were sitting eating lunch, dangling
their feet doing nothing much.
The Mexican guy opens up his lunchbox and he takes out a
taco. He exclaims “My wife always packs me tacos for lunch!
taco’s Taco’s TACO’S!!! I am sick of tacos!!! Can’t she pack me
something different?!?! If she gives me a taco one more time I
am going to jump off this building!!!”
The Irishman looks at him strangely, but doesn’t say
anything. Expecting something yummy for lunch, there in his
lunch box is Creamed Corn and Hash. Overpowered by the
Mexican’s words, he says “Every single day for the past 10 years
my wife has given me this every single day for lunch! I hate
Creamed Corn and Hash!!! I’m with you, Mexican, if I get one
more lunch of Creamed Corn and Hash, I will jump off this
building right with you!”
All the while the blonde is just sitting there eating his
sandwhich. Feeling left out, he says “I get a sandwhich every
single day too! I hate it too!! I am with you both! Tomorrow if
we all get the same lunch, we are jumping off this building!!”
The next day, they are all working patiently, just waiting
to see what they got for lunch. The day seemed to go on
forever, but finally lunch came. The Mexican guy opens up his
lunch. He finds a taco!! He gives a sigh and jumps off the
building.
The Irishman is very scared. He does not want to jump off,
but he has to. So he cautiosly opens up his lunch. And what do
you know? He has creamed corn and hash! He says good-bye to the
blonde man and jumps off screaming.
The blonde, being lonely, opens up his lunch and he finds a
sandwhich. He just shakes his head and jumps.
At the funeral, the wives of all three men are standing
around mourning together. The Mexican’s wife says “If only I
didn’t give him taco’s everyday, he may have still been alive
today”
The Irishman’s wife shakes her head in agreement, saying
“I take full responsibility in my husbands death”
They both look over at the blonde man’s wife who is not
crying and ask her why she is not mourning. She replies “Don’t
blame me, he made his own lunch!”