Q: How do you measure a blonde’s intelligence?A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
Category: blondes
Hail Storm
A blonde was driving her car one day, when she ran into a hailstorm. The hail stones were very large and made a lot of dents in the roof of her car. After the hail stopped, she went to a gas station and asked the attendant what she could do to get the dents out of her car.
The attendant, being a smart-ass, told her: “Blow real hard into the exhaust pipe, and that should push out the dents.”
When the blonde got home, not knowing any better, she did just that. While she was down on her hands and knees with her lips wrapped around her car’s tailpipe, huffing and puffing trying to blow the dents out, her roommate-also a blonde-came home.
Her roommate of course asked her what the heck she was doing.
The first blonde told her how the guy at the gas station said this was how she could get the dents out.
The second blonde thought about it for a moment, then said: “Like, uh, you have to roll-up the windows first.”
Blondes & Computers
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?A: The joystick is wet.
Repeat
Dr. Whitcomb was examining a pretty blonde, New York high fashion model.
“My, you have a big vagina! My, you have a big vagina!”
“Oh, Doctor,” retorted the girl, “You didn’t have to repeat it!”
“I didn’t!” said the M.D. “I didn’t!”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Poop
There was one blond and she had to jump off the brige and land in what ever she wished,but she said” no “” to the genie. So when she walked past and sliped and feel off the brige and yelled poop.and she landed in poop.
“
Blonde quickies 15
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling ?
A: A blond electrician
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A1: So brunettes can remember them.
A2: Because blonds are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn’t fit.
Q: Why wasn’t the Virgin Mary a blonde ????
A: She wouldn’t have been old enough to bear children!
Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.
Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period?
A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?
Q: Why do blondes have periods?
A: They deserve them
Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: “Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?”
Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they’re simple, easy and they taste good.
Alone
How do blonde brain cells die?
Alone.
Stop and Go
There was a blonde walking down
a sidewalk and she saw a sign say stop.
She did not see a car so she crossed the street. When she got to the other
side a man said you could of caused a wreck! Why did you not stop? The
blonde said I would of stopped but
Im not in a car.
Death
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss concerned about all his employees well being asked sympathetically, “What’s the matter?”
To which the blonde replies… “Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.”
The boss feeling very sorry at this point explains to the young girl. “Why don’t you go home for the day… we aren’t terribly busy just take the day off to relax and
rest.”
The blonde very calmly states…”No.. I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.”
The boss agrees and allows the blond to work as usual… “If you need anything just let me know.”
Well… a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde…he looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!!!!!
He rushes out to her asking, “What’s so bad now… are you gonna be okay??”
“No…” exclaims the blonde, “I just received a horrible call from my sister and she said that her mom died too!!”
How do you…
Q:How do you drown a blonde?
A:Place a scratch-n-sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a bitch?
A blonde will screw anyone, a bitch will screw anyone but you.
Two blondes were walking down the street when…
Two blondes were walking down the street when they saw a compact laying on
the sidewalk. One blonde picked it up and looked in the mirror inside and
said “Wow! This person looks familiar.”
The other blonde grabbed the compact and took a look and said “You dummy,
that’s me.”