Category: blondes

If you awnser YES for any of the following you are a Dumb Blond.
1.Have you ever sent a fax with a stamp in ot?
2.Have you ever tripped over a cordless phone?
3.Have you ever put you star sighn at the bottom of an
application form where it says sighn here?
4.Ever spoken you mind and been totally speechless?
5.Moved because you heard 90% of crimes are commited around your
home?
6.Did you know you could listen to am radio at night?
7.Do you stare at frozen orange juice because it says
comcentrate?
8.Do you think taco bell is an mexican phone company?
9.Ever told some one t meet you at the corner of walkand dont
walk?
10.Seen a sighn that says airport left so turned around and went
home?
11.Put lip stick on your forehead so you sould make up your mind?
12.Have you ever studien for a blood test and failed?
13.Ever taken 2hours to watch 60 minutes?
14.Ever sent someone an email asking them if they had an email
account?
15.Ever sold you car so you could have gas money?

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch? A: To turn the blinker off.

A blonde walks in a store and says i would like to buy that tv the clerk says im sorry mam we dont sell stuff to blondes. So she goes and puts a wig that has red hair and goes back in the store and says i would like to buy that tv he says sorry mam we dont sell stuff to blondes. so she goes outside and put a wig that had brown hair and said i would like to buy that tv he says sorry mam we dont sell stuff to blondes she says how do you no every time that im a blonde? he says “well mam that is not a tv thats a microwave” HA HA

What do you call a blonde grabbing at air?

Collecting her thoughts.

Submitted by Calamjo

One day a blonde walked into a store and said
“I`d like to buy that TV.”
The salesman said “Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes.”
The blonde went home and dyed her hair red. She went back to
the store and said “I�d like to buy that TV.”
“Sorry we don’t sell to blondes.” The man replied again.
She went and dyed her hair black, then returned to the store
and said “I�d like to buy that TV.”
Again the man said “Sorry we don’t sell to blondes.”
The blonde finally asks “How did you know I was a blonde?”
The man said “Because that�s not a TV its a microwave.”

There men were on a bus to prison where they were allowed to
bring only one personal item. They were telling each other what
they brought.

The first man, being intellectually minded, said, “I wanted to
bring something that could actually have a variety of purposes.
It needed to be something that I could not be easily bored with.
So I had a hard choice to make, between a small radio, a tiny
television set, and a deck of cards. Knowing that electronic
devices would more than likely not be peritted personally to an
inmate, I decided upon the cards, so that I can play a number of
games: Gin, Rummy, Solitaire, Hearts,” and continued to name
more games.

The second man said, “I like painting, and I intend to be the
Grandmtoher Moses of this jail house. I am going to paint
anything that I can. So I brought my painting supplies.” The
third man, a blond, said with a grin, “I was thoughful enough to
bring a box of Tampons.”

Muffled, the other two men questioned his choice, “What in the
hell can you do with Tampons?”

The man grimaced happily, “Well, just look here on the box. You
can swim, horseback ride, even skate! I just can’t wait to see
how they work!”

Q: What do a blonde and President Gorbachev have in common?
A: They both got fucked by 10 men whilst on holiday.

Q2: What’s the difference between a blonde and President Gorbachev?
A: He knows who the ten men were.

What’s a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpme Dumpme.

How do you drown A blonde?Put a Scratch and sniff sticker in the bottom of the pool.

Two young blonde women are sitting at a bar in such an obviously celebratory mood that the bartender drifts over intending to offer them a drink on the house. When he gets close he hears one say to the other “Here’s to 17 days!”

Smiling, the bartender says, “Congratulations! What’s so special about 17 days?”

Eyes twinkling, one of the women explains, “Well, we’ve been spending our evenings working on a jigsaw puzzle! And it said 3-5 years on the box, but we finished it in only 17 days!”

What do you call a blonde touching her toes?

A brunette with bad breath

A blonde woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant.

The assistant, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don’t sell bottom deodorant and never have. The blonde, unfazed, assures the lady behind the counter that she has been buying the stuff from here on a regular basis and would like some more.

The shop assistant thinks for a minute, knowing full well that they don’t stock, or have ever sold, such an item. She smiles at the thick blonde pillock and says, “One moment please, I will get the pharmacist.”

The pharmacist looks at the blonde and says, “Can I help you miss?”

“I would like to buy some bottom deodorant please,” says the blonde.

“I’m sorry,” says the pharmacist, “we don’t have any.”

“But I always get it here,” says the blonde.

“Do you have the container it comes in?”

“Yes!” Said the blonde, “I will go and get it.”

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to the her “This is just a normal stick of under arm deodorant.”

The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, “To apply, push up bottom.”