Category: blondes

Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common ?
A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.

Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do blonds and spagetthii have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.

Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.

Q: Why did the deaf blond sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.

Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Don’t tell her to swallow.

Q: Why did the blonde drown in the pool ?
A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Q: Why do blonds have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke.
The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns
and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding
out drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her
antics for a few minutes before stopping and her and asking if someone else
could have a go. The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: “Can’t you
see I’m winning.”

A blonde walks up to a horse and gets on, suddenly the horse takes off, galloping wildly. The blonde falls off and get her foot stuck in the stirrup! The horse keeps going and the blonde is bouncing along the ground, screaming for help. Then, the Wal-mart employee comes out and unplugs the horse.

Q: There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but why couldn’t they get in?A: The sign said “must be 18 to enter”.

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn’t get out of her room.

“You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?”

The stewardess replied, “There are only three doors in here, “she cried,” one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

One day a husband was making fun of his blonde wife when he his wanted to prove to him that she was not dumb so she decided to paint the room when he came he asked why do u have three coats on on she said because the can of paint said that i must put on three coats.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were in a BREAST-STROKE
swimming competition. The brunette won, the redhead came in
just moments after her, and the blonde finished 45 minutes
later. Afterward, a reporter was asking the blonde why it took
her that long. She said, “I saw the other girls using their
hands; isn’t that cheating?”

Q:How do you know when a blonde has been at the computer?

A: There is white out the screen.

A blonde tried to sell her old car.

She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it.

One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon.

The brunette told her, “There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it’s not legal.”

“That doesn’t matter,” replied the blonde, “if I only can sell the car.

“Okay,” said the brunette. “Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore.”

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic.

About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, “Did you sell your car?”

“No,” replied the blonde, “why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it.”

A man is eating in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous blonde eating at the next table. He has been checking her out all night, but lacks the nerve to go and talk to her.

Suddenly the woman sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively grabs and snatches it out of the air.

‘Oh my God, I am sooo sorry,’ the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. ‘Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you.’

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman invites him to the theatre followed by drinks. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to breakfast the next morning.

When he arrives the next morning, she has cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. ‘You know you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?’

‘No,’ she replies, ‘you just happened to catch my eye.’

Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?It took him two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.

Q: Why can’t the blonde make ice cubes?A: She lost the recipe.