Category: blondes

A Sailor is sitting at a bar one night and is chatting it up with a beautiful blonde. After some drinks she starts to cry and tell him the sad story that she is Polish and misses home terribly but can’t afford to buy a ticket to go home.

The sailor tells her his profession and makes a deal with her.
“I’ll hide you away on my ship on one condition.
You have to have sex with me when I ask.”

She hugs him, crys and agrees. So late that night they sneak on to his ship and he hides her in a big life boat with a canvas cover. He tells her he’ll bring her food and water and she’ll just have to stay hidden because she’ll be in big trouble if she’s caught.

So for the next three weeks he brings her rations every day and sleeps with her every night.

Finally one day the captain is strolling on deck, sees something suspicious and lifts the cover discovering the girl. He yells “STOWAWAY!”

Scared she explains: “Dont be mad at me sir. One of your sailors stowed me away to take me home to Poland, and is having sex with me for payment!”

“No kidding? Lady… this is the Staten Island Ferry!”

One day a very fat blonde met a very skinny brunette downtown.
The blonde gave the brunette a long look full of contempt and
said, “Looking at you, I’d think this country is suffering from
starvation.”

The brunette just smiled and replied, “Looking at you, I’d think
you’re the reason.”

Q:How Did The Blonde Break Her Leg
A:She Tripped Over The Cordless Telephone

Blonde: Hold on I have to go to the bathroom!

Brunette: Ok I will be at the Ice cream stand!

Blonde: Ok I will be right there!

30 Minutes Later

Brunette:Hey are you still in here?

Blonde: Oh thank goodness you came back!I have to go really bad and there was no one in here that would unzip my dress zipper so that I could go!

Brunette: Hahaha! You idiot… Just pull it up!

What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?
Nothing, they haven’t met!

101. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she’s pregnant.

102. Q: How do blondes get pregnant?
A: And you thought blondes were dumb.

103. Q: What will she ask you?
A: “Is it mine?”

104. Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.

105. Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

106. Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

107. Q: Why do Blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.

108. Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.

109. Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ?
A: Wishful Thinking.

110. Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!

111. Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

112. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!

113. Q: What’s five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.

114. Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don’t lend the Porsche out to your friend.

115. Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
A: Butter is difficult to spread.

116. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
A2: There is no difference. They’re both round and have three holes to poke.

117. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and “The Titanic”?
A: They know how many men went down on “The Titanic”.

118. Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

119. Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a telephone?
A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone.

120. Q: What’s the difference between a blonde girl and a blond guy?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.

Why couldn’t the blonde pass her drivers test?

She wasn’t used to being in the front seat.

There was 3 blonde girls running down the beach and came to a bottle. They rubbed it and a genie came and said i will give you 3 wishes but since theres 3 of you i will give you one a peice. The first blonde girl said she wanted to be 100 times smarter and she became a brunette docter. The second blonde said she wanted to be 1,000 times smarter and she turned into a red haired rocket scientist.
The third one (the dumbest one) wished she was 10,000 DUMBER and she turned into a man!

farther christmas a dumb blonde and a smart blonde jump off a building which one hits the ground first? the dumd blonde because the other two are not real

Ever hear about the blonde coyote who got a leg stuck in a trap –
she chewed off three legs and was still stuck!

There was this blonde who just got sick and tired of all the Blonde jokes. So
one evening she went home and memorized all the state capitals.
Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke.
She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with
these blonde Jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last Night and
did something probably none of you could do … I memorized all the state
capitals.”
One of the guys, of course, said “I don’t believe you. What is the capital of
Nevada?”
“N”, she answered.

A blonde asked the airport attendant, ” How do I know which plane to get on?”

“Well, ” She replied, “What flight number is yours?”

“837” she answered, ” I have looked but none of these darn planes have numbers on them.”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis