Category: blondes

A blonde is walking along a rail road track when a brunette comes skipping up behind her shouting at the top of her lungs “47!,47!,47!” Well the blonde thought that looked like a lot of fun so she fell into stride behind the brunette and started chanting “47!,47!,47!” but then a train started to come up behind them the brunette saw it just in time and got off the track but the blonde didnt and got hit by the train and died. Then the brunette got back on the track and started chanting “48!,48!,48!”

A blond and a brunette are on an elevator, suddenly a good looking
handsome man gets on.

So then the brunette turns to the blond and says, “Wow”, he is so
good looking, but that dandruff on him is a real turn off”.

“I think we should give him some Head and Shoulders!” said the
brunette.

All of a sudden the blond turned to the brunette with a confused
look and said, “Ok, but how do you give shoulders?”

What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A brunette with bad breath.

One day a blonde lady went to a local Florida Department Store to buy a pair of alligator shoes. As she was looking at a very nice pair of shoes she noticed the very expensive price. She didn’t have enough to pay for the shoes, and she was outraged. She marched right up to the counter and told the clerk exactly what she thought of him.She left very angrily, but on her way out she made a comment to the clerk and in that comment she said,”With prices like these I should just go out buy me a gun and kill my own alligators.”the clerk replied very sarcastically,”Good Luck!”The clerk went on with his day not even thinking about the lady that came in early. As he was locking up to go home at the end of the day something caught his eye. There in the swamp was the lady waist deep with a gun in her hand. At that moment something else caught his eye, off to the left about 25 yards away was an alligator swimming right towards her.The man started jumping up and down screaming at her trying to get her attention. She turned seen the alligator took aim and shot.She drug it to shore where there was about eight other alligators laying dead on their backs.Then she flipped it over too and said,”damn this one is not wearing shoes either.”

Ok, These two blondes went skydiving. The first jumped and opened her parachute. Then the second one jumped and hers wouldn’t open, so she flew by the other blonde and then she said, “Oh, so now you wanna race?” So then she took her parachute off…

What do you call a basement full of blondes?

A whine cellar.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman

A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her “go do something to prove them wrong! Why don’t you learn all the state capitals or something?”

The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying.

The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her. She gets all indignant and claims, “I’m NOT a dumb blonde. In fact, I can name ALL the state capitals!”

The guy doesn’t believe her, so she dares him to test her.
He says “Okay, what’s the Capital of Montana?”

The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, “That’s easy! It’s M!”

A young boy is in the bath and is examing his testacles. He asks his blonde mother if these are his brains. His blonde mother replies not yet but they soon will be.

A blond is as cute as my great great great (etc.)grandpa and he died in 2001.

The only resons blonds get dates faster because they are the stupitist.

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.

Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.”

The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, “I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.”

The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, “It’s just 99 cents a word.”

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word.

After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, “I want you to send her the word, ‘comfortable.'”

The telegraph operator shakes his head. “How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable?'”

The brunette explains, “My sister’s blonde.”

“She’ll read it very slowly.”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman

How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?

It is the one with the kickstand.

Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?

A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, “Next”.
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He’s had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.