Author: admin

These two guys are carpooling home from work one day. Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored.

So the driver is looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex on someone’s front lawn.

“Look,” he shouts “What are the those dogs doing? Are they fighting?”

The passenger, being a man of the world, replies “They are having sex. Don’t tell me that you have never had sex doggie style before?”.

The driver, a bit embarrassed, admits that he has never had sex doggie style.

So the passenger says “You have to try it. It’s pretty cool. Here’s what you do. Tonight when you get home, fix your wife a margarita and then suggest that you want to try this new sexual position.”

The driver thinks a bit and then decides he will give it a try.

So the next morning, the two commuters are back in the car and the passenger asks “Well. How did it go?”

To which the driver replies “It was great. But it took me 6 Margaritas just to get her on the front lawn.!!!”

Submitted by Calamjo
Editted by Curtis

Esta pareja de recien casados est�n de luna de miel en L�bano. Paseaban por el mercado mirando la mercancia y cuando pasaron por una tiendita de sandalias oyeron un caballero que les dice: “Venid adendro de mi humilde diendita, baisanos.”

Los reci�n casados entraron y el hombre les dice que tiene unas sandalias especiales que los estimular�n a tener un sexo salvaje como gran “gamello del desierto.”

La esposa estaba realmente interesada en comprar las sandalias despu�s del comentario del Liban�s, pero su marido pensaba que no las necesitaba, siendo un hombre joven y viril, as� que le pregunt� al tendero, “Como podr�an esas sandalias convertirme en un monstruo del sexo?”

“S�lo dienes que brobarlas, Saiheeb.”

Despu�s de mucho acoso de su esposa, finalmente hace el intento. Tan pronto como desliza sus pies en las sandalias, se le ve una mirada salvaje en sus ojos; algo que su esposa no hab�a visto nunca, una potencia sexual del demonio.

En un parpadeo de ojos, el marido agarr� al Libanes firmemente por las nalgas, le baj� los pantalones y lo puso en cuatro listo para sodomizarlo.

El Liban�s comenz� a gritar, “�Bara, bara! ��Te las busiste al rev�s, te las busiste al rev�s !!”

If you’re feeling a bit stressed, try these to deal with it…

Dance naked in front of your pets.

Put your toddler’s clothes on backwards and send them off to school as if nothing is wrong. (NOTE: this also works well with the hubby who stayed at the pub too long.)

Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at once. (Always have a witness on hand, just in case you attempt the Guiness World Record)

Tattoo “out to lunch” on your forehead.

Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.

Find out what a frog in a blender “really” looks like. (Hamster in the microwave works well too.)

Sit naked on a shelled hard boiled egg. (“Don’t knock it until you try it!”)

Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.

Make up a language and ask people for directions. (Works great at 7-11’s!)

Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and place it back in the wrapper. (KIDS: make sure you make a nice note titled – For Daddy, I love you.)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ NOTES and DISCLAIMERS:

If you are less than 18 years of age: always seek your parent’s aproval before attempting any of the above. (Exemption: If the hamster bites you again, nuke him till he glows!)

If you are 18 years of age or older and even think about doing any of these: proceed to the nearest telephone book directory. Look up “clinical psychologist”… drive directly to the first one that accepts “walk-ins!”

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