Category: blondes

ONE DAY 3 BLONDES TAKE A WALK IN THE FOREST.
WHILE THEY ARE WALKING ,THEY COME ALONG SOME TRACKS.
THE FIRST BLONDE SAYS,THESE ARE BEAR TRACKS.
THE SECOND BL0NDE JUMPS IN AND SAYS,NO THOSE ARE DEER TRACKS.
OF COURSE THE THIRD BLONDE HAD TO PUT IN HER PIECE AND SAYS,
ANYONE CAN TELL THOSE ARE FOX TRACKS.
ALL THREE OF THEM WERE STILL ARGUING 10 MINUTES LATER WHEN A TRAIN HIT THEM

how do you kill a blonde?

put a scratch and sniff pad at the bottom of the pool.

Once there was a blonde driving home from work when she saw a sheep farm. She stops and asks the farmer if she can have a sheep. The farmer says “If you can count all my sheep I’ll let you have any one you want.” The blonde looks around her for a moment and says, “You have 356 sheep.” The farmer exclaims, “Wow — you’re exactly right. I guess blondes really aren’t dumb. Now go pick yourself out a sheep.” The blonde makes her choice, picks it up, comes back to the farmer to thank him.”Oh no,” he says, “you can’t have that one.” “Why not?” asks the blonde, “you said I could have any sheep I wanted.” And the farmer says, “Ma’am, that’s my dog.”

A blonde and a lawyer were seated next to each other on a long flight. To pass
the time, the lawyer suggested that they try to stump one another with trivia.

“If I ask you something that you don’t know, you owe me $5. The same goes if
you ask me something I don’t know.” The blonde refused.

“Okay. If you don’t know an answer, you pay me $5, but if I don�t know an
answer, I pay you $50.”
The blonde accepted. The Lawyer went first.
“What is the distance from the earth to the moon?”

The blonde didn’t say anything, but merely reached into her purse, pulled out
a $5 bill and handed it to the lawyer. Then it was her turn.

“What has four legs going up a hill, but only three coming down?”

The lawyer had no idea, so he gave her a $50 bill.

“So, what is it?”

The blonde said nothing, but merely reached into her purse and gave a $5 bill
to the lawyer.

Why did it take the blonde a whole week to wash three basement windows?It took him six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in.

Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?

A: So she can have a doggie bag for later.

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!”

The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!”

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.

She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.

The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it’s back, and frustrated, shouts out,
– “Damn it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!!!”

Not to long ago a blonde woman I know had a near death experience that has changed her forever.

She was horseback riding, and everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all her might to hang on, but was thrown off. Her foot became caught in the stirrup. She fell head first to the ground and her head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down.

Just when things were looking their worst, as she was giving up hope and about to lose consciousness, there was a miracle: The Walmart manager came and unplugged it.

two blonds walk into a bar …. well you would have thought one of them had notised it!!!!!

Aman tells a woman (the blonde) to suck his cock so she goes and sucks on a chicken

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they just couldn’t! The blonde with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath. The other blonde said anxiously, “Hurry up! It’s starting to rain and the top is down.”

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful blonde was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn’t! So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step.

About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero screeching at him “How dare you touch my body!! I don’t even know who you are!”

At this the Texan drawled “Well ma’am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends.”