Category: blondes

Q. Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? A. Beacause it said
“concentrate!”

Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A: Because they can spell it.

There were these three guys, a brunet, a redhead, and a blond.
They all worked together at a factory. Everyday they noticed
that their boss leaves work a little early. So one day they meet
together and say that today when the boss leaves, they’ll all
leave early too.

The boss left and so did they. The brunet goes home and goes to
rest so he can get an early start.

The redhead goes home and cooks dinner.

The blond goes home and walks to his bedroom. He opens the door
slowly and sees his wife in bed with his boss so he shuts the
door and leaves.

The next day the brunet and the redhead are talking and plan to
go home early again. They ask the blond if he wants to leave
early again and he says, “No.” They ask him why not and he said,
“Because yesterday I almost got caught!”

What do you call a smart blonde? Extinct

Q: How do blonde braincells die?A: Alone.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.

Did you hear about the blonde who…

had more on her body than on her mind?

was called “Sanka” because she had no active ingredient in the bean?

took an hour to cook Minute Rice?

got into the taxi, and the driver kept the “Vacant” sign up?

was an M. D. – Mentally Deficient?

had a terrific stairway, but nothing upstairs?

thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?

was told she was a silly puss, but insisted she didn’t have a crazy cat?

after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn’t get taller girls?

went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?

brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?

Blonde Ambition:

• Percentage of American women born blonde: 16.
• Percentage of women who have blonde hair today: 33.
• Percentage of TV newscasters who are blonde: 64.
• Percentage of Miss Americas who are blonde: 65.
• Percentage of Playboy Playmates who are blonde: 73.

– Playboy

1) That dress would look awfully nice on the floor next to my bed.

2) Do you want to see something swell?

3) What do you like for breakfast?

4) Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?

5) Say, didn’t we go to different schools together?

6) Why don’t you sit on my lap, and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up.

7) Sit on my lap and we’ll get things straight between us.

8) Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

9) Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?

10) You smell wet. Lets party!

11) If I told you that you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?

12) Didn’t anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me? I thought you knew!

13) You have the ass of a great artist.

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.

The lawyer asks the blonde if she would like to play a fun game.

The blonde, who is tired, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa.”

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00.”

This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”

The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

“Okay, ” the lawyer continues. “Your turn.”

She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?”

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references but he can’t find an answer.

He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress, but he still has no answer.

Frustrated, he e-mails all his friends and coworkers, which turns out to be to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, “Thank you,” and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, what’s the answer?”

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman

Theres a Blonde driving to disney land, she gets to a fork in the road, theres a sign it says, Taco Bell right, and Disney Land left, so the Blonde went back home because the sign said Disney Left.

GET IT ??? (joke answer down there)
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she thought that disney land left (went away)

A blonde and a brunette were going to a party.

The brunette was driving and speeding because they were running late.

All of a sudden they hear sirens.

The brunette asked the blonde if the cops were after them.

The blonde replied “yes, no, yes, no, yes…”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman