This one blonde is driving down the street and she sees this other blonde a canoe in a corn field. The blonde in the car jumps out and yells at the blonde in the canoe.
She says “What the hell are you doing? It’s blondes like you that make us blondes look stupid. If I knew how to swim I’d come over there and kick your ass!”
Category: blondes
A bunch of blonde jokes…
What do you call an eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First
Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours, they saw a sign that said “Disneyland left.” So they turned around and went home.
What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.
What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
Oh,look, Daddy….doughnut seeds!
Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
Why can’t blondes dial 911?
They can’t find the 11 on the phone.
What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she’s got a grenade in her mouth!
How can you tell if a blonde’s been using your computer?
There is white-out all over the monitor.
Why shouldn’t blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.
A blonde and a brunnette were walking outside when the brunnette said,”Oh, look at the dead bird.” The blonde looked skyward and said, “Where? Where?”
How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.
Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
How do you get a twinkle in a blonde’s eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Hear about the blonde who got an AM radio?
Took her a month to figure out she could play it at night.
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey team?
They drowned during spring training.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
“Duh! Look! They spelled Macy’s wrong!”
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Tuesday.
Why are blonde’s boobs always square?
Because they forget to take the kleenex out of the box.
All you can eat, under a buck.
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?
A: All you can eat, under a buck.
Three blondes
why did the three blondes jump off the top of the building?
To see if their maxi-pads really had wings.
Blondes and Musclecars
Q. What do blondes and muscle cars have in common?
A. They both burn rubber!!
How do you change a blonde’s mind?
Buy her another beer.
Question and answer blonde joke
Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
Q. Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
A. It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.
One
Q: how many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: one.
First class
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn’t have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job, and I’m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.”
The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job and I’m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.” The head stewardesses doesn’t even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.
The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, “I told her the front half of the airplane wasn’t going to Jamaica.”
Watch out for cops
One day, a blonde and a brunette were driving to a party and they were
speeding because they were late.
“Watch out for cops,” the brunette said.
They drove on for about five minutes when suddenly the blonde said nervously,
“I think that’s a cop behind us.”
“Is it after us?” the brunette questioned.
“Er, um…” answered the blonde.
“Well, is it?” asked the brunette with a growing temper.
“I don’t know…”
“Well are it’s lights on?” insisted the brunette.
Replied the blonde, “Yes… no… yes… no… yes… no… yes… no…”
Orange Juice
Q. Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? A. Beacause it said
“concentrate!”