Two Blondes were walking down the street….

Two Blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a compact on
the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the
mirror and said, “Hmmm, this person looks familiar.”

The second Blonde said, “Let me look!”

The first Blonde handed her the compact. The second Blonde looked in
the mirror and said, “You dumb shit, it’s me!”

hanging from plane

There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette.They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn’t then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, “I’ll get off.”After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping.

The blonde bank robbers!

Two blondes were planning to rob a bank.
The first blonde had a tendancy to be smarter than the second.

They went over and over their plans for the robbery and finally they headed out to commit the crime. They pulled up in their car in front of the bank.

The first blonde says to the second blonde, “Are you SURE you understand the plan?”

“Yes!” replied the second blonde.

So the second blonde gets out of the passenger side of the car and heads into the bank.

Time passes, and after 10 minutes the second blonde has not returned.
The first blonde gets very nervous.

Finally, out comes the second blonde from the bank dragging the safe behind her by a rope, and seconds behind her comes the guard with his pants down.

“No you idiot! I told you to blow the SAFE and tie-up the GUARD!”

Blonde Astronaut?

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment
on sending women to different planets. First, They called the brunette in and
asked her a question.

“If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want? To go to and
why?”

After pondering the question she answered, “I would like to go to Mars,
because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra
terrestrial life on the planet.”

They said “well okay, thank you.” And told her that they would get back to
her.

Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her same
question. In reply, “I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings.”
Again, “thank you” and they would get back to her.

Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they
asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, “I
would like to go to the Sun.”

The people from NASA replied, “Why, don’t you know that if you went to the sun
you would burn to death?”

The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. “Are you Guys dumb? I’d go at
night!”

Call 911!

“Did you hear what happened?”Jim asked when he saw me walking down the hallway at work.”Hear what” I asked, my curiosity peaked.”The regional vice president died this morning!””What?!” I asked, totally stunned.”What happened?””He was working through lunch when he had a heart attack” Jim began explaining.”Everyone was gone except his secretary. You know the one.””Boy do I. She’s that young blonde babe.””Yeah that’s the one. Turns out she isn’t too smart, though.””What do you mean?”I asked.”He kept yelling at her to ‘call 9 1 1’. She just stood there waiting for him to give her the rest of the phone number.”