Category: blondes

Q. Santa Claus, a smart blonde, and a brunette made a bet as to who would hit the ground first if they all jumped off a bridge at the same time. Who do you think hit first?

A. The brunette won because the other two people are fictional.

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.”

She then wrote a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.”

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”

How do you kill a blonde? Drop a m&m off the top of Warsington monument and he/she will dive after it.

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?
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A: Tell her a joke on Monday.

There was blonde rowing a boat in a field,another blonde drove by stopped and said its blondes like you that give us a bad name—if i could swim i would come out there and kick your ass

How many blonde jokes are there?

Only two or three, the others are real stories.

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing

A dumb blonde is driving and see`s a tree,so she swurves to the right,she see`s another tree,she swurves again,she see`s ANOTHER tree,so she swurves again,a cop pulled her over and said”Lady you need to stop swurving your gonna get yourself hurt”and the dumb blonde said”but I keep seeing trees”,and the cop said”Lady……..thats a car freshener”

There was a beautiful young blonde at a soda machine in Vegas, and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst.She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a short while, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke. She placed it on a counter next to the machine.Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change.She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew. She placed them both on the counter next to the Diet Coke.As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man, who’d been waiting patiently for several minutes by then, spoke up.”Excuse me, miss, but are you done yet?”She looked at him and indignantly asked, “Well Duh! Can’t you see I’m still winning?”

how do u kill a blond?
put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool!

Q: Did you hear about the blonde man that locked his keys in his car? A: Took him an hour to get his family out w/ a coat hanger.

There were three women that broke out of jail.One had red hair,one had brown hair, the other was blone.As they were running down the road they saw a old barn,so they went to hide out in it.They hide behind three bells of hay.The police search party went in the barn looking for them.One police went over to the bells of hay and kicked the first one were the red head was hiding.She cried out”Quack Quack”So he thought it was a duck.He went to the second bell of hay were the brown haired lady was hinding.She cried out”Arf Arf”So he thought it was a dog.He went to the thrid bell of hay were the blonde was hiding.She cried out”Potatoes Potatoes”So he kicked it again.Now she cried out”Cat Cat”

The recipe said to cook for 1/2 hour per pound, and she weighed 125.