Q. A blonde and a brunette jumped off a building which one will hit the ground first?
A. The brunette because the blonde had to stop for directions.
Category: blondes
Light bulb
How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
a: What’s a light bulb?
Speech Impediment
Q: What is the blonde’s chronic speech impediment?
A: She can’t say “No”.
Grounds For A Divorce
A blonde woman goes into her lawyers office requesting a
divorce. He is taking all of her background information and asks
her, “Do you have grounds for a divorce?”
To which she replies, “Well, we have three acres.”
“No, ma’am. What I mean is, does he beat you up?” asks the
attorney.
“No, I get up around 6:00 and he sleeps until 7:30,” she
responds.
Feeling frustrated the attorney asks, “Lady, tell me, do you
have a grudge?”
Looking very confident she states, “No, we have a carport.”
At this point the lawyer has lost his patience and asks, “Look,
lady, why do you want a divorce?”
“Because he can’t hold an intelligent conversation!”
Jus becase Im A Blonde Dont Meen im Stupid!
A blind man walked into A womens bar.He asked the bartender”do you wanna hear a blond joke?” the bar tender replied “I just wanted to let you know before you go on with your blond joke that the women beside you is a blond heavy weight champion,the blond on the other side of you is a blond boxer,and I am a blond body builder.I just wanted to make sure you knew this before you went on with your joke.Do you still want to?” the blind man got up and replied “No because I dont want to have to repeat it three times!” with that he walked out.
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A blonde was sitting in a canoe in the middle of a wheat feild. A SUV drove up next to the field and an other blonde stepped out. “Its blondes like you that give other blondes a bad name. So im gonna swim out there and tip over your canoe.”
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“Some say blondes have more fun…But take it from a blond like me.Running into walls repeatedly isnt as fun as it looks!”
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Three women had been captured by Nazi soldiers and were to be executed. The soldiers lined them up on a brick wall and they aimed at the first one wich was a brunett.
The General said “Any last words?” she shook her head. He then shouted “READY, AIM…” but the woman interrupted him. “Wait, wait, wait, flood” she shouted pointing behind them. all the soldiers looked behind them and then she ran away.
They sent some soilders after her and went on to the red head.They repeated this and got to the “READY , AIM…..” the redhead interupted with “HURRICANE!” the soldiers looked behind them and she ran away.The general got mad and sent three men after her.He got to the blonde and said “Eny last words?” she shook her head.The genereal shouted “READY AIM…” “Wait!I have a last word….FIRE!” she shouted..The general laughed and did just that.
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Just so than non of you blondes out there reading this are offended.I myself am a blonde to.And Im proud of it!
Micorave/TV
one day a blonde walks into a store and asks the employee for the TV and he says he doesnt sell to blondes. so that night she dyes her hair brown and comes back and asks the guys for the TV and again he says he doesnt sell to blondes. so that night she shaves off her hair and comes back and asks the guy for the TV and he says ” i dont sell to blondes”” and she asks the guy how he knew she was a blonde. he said because that is a micorave not a TV.
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Dumb Blonde
How do you kill a dumb blonde?
Answer:
Stick a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
Question and answer blonde joke
Q: How does a blonde make instant pudding?A: She places the box in the microwave and looks for the “instant pudding setting” button.
How does a blonde turn off the night light?…
How does a blonde turn off the night light?
– She closes the car door.
Two brain cells.
Q. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A. Pregnant.
Blonde marriage
whats the advantage of being married to a blonde…. you get to park in handicapped zones
Blonde quickies 7
Q: What’s a blonde’s favourite wine?
A: “Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!”
Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
A1: They both have a black box.
A2: Both have a cockpit.
Q: What is the difference between a blond and a 747?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747
Q: What does a dumb blonde say when she gives birth?
A: Gee, Are you sure it’s mine?
Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: “Are you sure it’s mine?”
Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?
A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she’s pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: “Is it mine?”
Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
Q: Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.