Category: blondes

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window.
The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Drop dead blonde, the works.

“I’ve pulled you over for speeding, Ma’me…. could I see your drivers license…?”

“…What’s a license…???” replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.

“It’s usually in your wallet…” replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. “Now may I see your registration…” asked the cop.

“Registration….. what’s that….?” asked the blonde. “It’s usually in your glove compartment…” said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration. “I’ll be back in a minute…” said the cop and walked back to his car.

The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman’s license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back;

“Ummm…. is this woman driving a red sports car?” “Yes….” replied the officer “Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?” asked the dispatcher “Uh… yes” replied the cop.

“Here’s what you do….” said the dispatcher. “Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants…”

“WHAT!!? I can’t do that. Its….. inappropriate…” exclaimed the cop.

“Trust me….. just do it….” said the dispatcher.

So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs….. “Ohh no… not ANOTHER breathalyzer……”

What happened to the blonde tap dancer? She slipped off and fell down the drain.

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby’s diapers every month?A: The instructions stated, “good for up to 20 pounds”.

Q: what is the irritating part around a blonde’s vagina?
A1: the blonde!
A2: the other guys waiting their turn.

A blonde was driving down the highway and was involved in a
wreck. When the police officer went to ask what happened she
said. All of a sudden a tree appeared in front of me and I kept
swerving and swerving to avoid it but it was still there then I
wrecked. The police officer said ma’am that is your air freshener.

There were 2 blondes walking in the country, they come across some tracks on the ground.
One says “I bet these are bear tracks””. The other says “”i bet they’re rabbit tracks””. They continue arguing.
Then they get hit by a train.

“

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?A: Artificial intelligence.

there’s 3 women,a brown,a red,and a blonde.
they have all been captured and are getting ready to die.So the
people who has captured them have tied them up to a chair and
are getting ready to shoot them,the brown is first,being the
smartest,she has to come up with a plan really quick.The people
are getting ready to shoot her,
the people:ready,aim,
the brown:tornado,
so everybody runs for cover,ofcourse the brown gets away.
the next day,they are getting ready to shoot the red.She’s got
the plan down,she’ll do everything the brown did. They set her
down in the chair,tie her up.etc.,Now there getting ready to
shoot her.
The people:ready,aim,
The red:earthquake!!
everybody again,runs for cover and the red gets away.the next
day comes.Time for the blonde to die,she’s got the plan down
pat.so they set her in the chair,etc.
the people:ready,aim,
the blonde:fire!
{that’s how the blondes get there name.}

A blonde goes to a lie detector test where instead of it beeping it makes them explode.When she gets there she meets a red haired girl and a brown haired girl.The red haired girl goes first.She says i’m the prettiest girl in the world.She explodes.Next went the brown haired girl.She says i’m the sexiest girl in the world.She explodes.Finally the blonde goes.She says I think.She explodes.

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.

She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!”

The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!”

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.

Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank.

Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement.

Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back. Frustrated, she shouts out, “Damn it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman

Why did the Blonde cross the road? Who cares, what the hell is she doing out of the kitchen!

Q-Why was the blonde so happy that she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A-On the box it said 2-4 years!