Category: blondes

There were three blondes going on a trip to Disneyland. So they met a fork in the road and of course they did not know what to do. They looked to the right then foward then to the left there was a sign. It said Disneyland left. SO THEY LEFT TO GO HOME!

Q: What important question does a blonde ask her mate before having sex?
A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?

Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?

A: So she could lip read.

A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put
the alligator up on the bar and turned to the astonished
patrons. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth
and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his
mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth and I’ll remove
my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each
of you will buy me a drink.” The crowd murmured their approval.

The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed
his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator closed his
mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a
beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its
head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his
genital, unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first
of his free drinks was delivered.

The man stood up again and made another offer. “I’ll pay anyone
$100 who’s willing to give it a try.” A hush fell over the
crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A
blonde timidly spoke up, “I’ll try, but you have to promise not
to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.”

A Blonde walks into a bar and says…OUCH!!!

How do you know when a blonde has been eating?

There is a belt buckle mark on her forehead.

Patti, a well-stacked blonde, sat on the examining table.

Dr Donovan placed his hand on her bare breast, “You know what I’m doing, don’t you?” he asked.

“Yes,” she murmured, “You’re checking for breast cancer.”

Donovan then began caressing her stomach. “Of course,” he continued, “you know what I’m doing.”

“Yes,” she smiled. “You’re checking my appendix.”

By now the M.D. couldn’t control himself any longer. He ripped off his clothes and began making love to her.

“You know what I’m doing, don’t you?” he gasped.

“Yes,” she replied. “You’re checking for VD . . . and that’s what I came here for.”

Q:How do you get a one-armed Blonde out of a tree?

A:Wave.

There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish icefishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win — they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back.”A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!”

What did the blonde say to the vibrator?

Why are you shaking, I’m going to eat the banana!

Q. what do you call a blonde who knows 2×2?
A. a genius.

a.How duse a blond turn on the light after having sex.b.kick open the car door.