Category: blondes

The blonds haircut

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one day a blone whent in to a hairdressers wearing headphones, she told the hairdresser to cut her hair. He said
“sure, can i take off your headphones?” She said
“NO NO NO just cut around them. so she had her hair cut.
The next month she whent into the Hairdressers wearing headphones and asked the hairdresser to cut her hair. He said
“sure but can i take off your headphones?” she again said
“NO NO NO just cut around them. So she had her hair cut.
The next month she whent into the hairdressers wearing headphones and asked the hairdresser to cut her hair. Unfortunatelly for her the hairdresser was new and forgot to ask if he was allowed to take off her headphones. So he took them off and she dropped dead on the floor. He picked up the headphones and put them to his own ears and listened. They were saying
“breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.”

Policewoman

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A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police
cruiser pulled her over.

The police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde.

She asked for the blonde’s driver’s license.

The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, “What does a driver’s license look like?’

Irritated, the blonde cop said, “You dummy, it’s got your picture on it!”

The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom.

She held it up to her face and said, “Aha! This must be my driver’s license”, then handed it to the blonde policewoman.

The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, “You’re free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this.”

Gator

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A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put
the alligator up on the bar and turned to the astonished
patrons. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth
and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his
mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth and I’ll remove
my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each
of you will buy me a drink.” The crowd murmured their approval.

The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed
his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator closed his
mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a
beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its
head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his
genital, unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first
of his free drinks was delivered.

The man stood up again and made another offer. “I’ll pay anyone
$100 who’s willing to give it a try.” A hush fell over the
crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A
blonde timidly spoke up, “I’ll try, but you have to promise not
to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.”

V.D. check

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Patti, a well-stacked blonde, sat on the examining table.

Dr Donovan placed his hand on her bare breast, “You know what I’m doing, don’t you?” he asked.

“Yes,” she murmured, “You’re checking for breast cancer.”

Donovan then began caressing her stomach. “Of course,” he continued, “you know what I’m doing.”

“Yes,” she smiled. “You’re checking my appendix.”

By now the M.D. couldn’t control himself any longer. He ripped off his clothes and began making love to her.

“You know what I’m doing, don’t you?” he gasped.

“Yes,” she replied. “You’re checking for VD . . . and that’s what I came here for.”