Category: blondes

A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it.

One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, “There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it’s not legal.”

“That doesn’t matter,” replied the blonde, “if I only can sell the car.”

“Okay,” said the brunette. “Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter on your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore.”

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, “Did you sell your car?”

“No,” replied the blonde, “why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!”

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful.

She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, “I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?”

The blonde said, “I want 15 gallons. I’m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath.”

The milkman asked, “Pasteurized?”

The blonde said, “No, just up to my tits.”

Submitted by calamjo
Edited by yisman and curtis

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?

A: She kept throwing out all the “W”s!

What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up!:)

A Sailor is sitting at a bar one night and is chatting it up with a beautiful blonde. After some drinks she starts to cry and tell him the sad story that she is Polish and misses home terribly but can’t afford to buy a ticket to go home.

The sailor tells her his profession and makes a deal with her.
“I’ll hide you away on my ship on one condition.
You have to have sex with me when I ask.”

She hugs him, crys and agrees. So late that night they sneak on to his ship and he hides her in a big life boat with a canvas cover. He tells her he’ll bring her food and water and she’ll just have to stay hidden because she’ll be in big trouble if she’s caught.

So for the next three weeks he brings her rations every day and sleeps with her every night.

Finally one day the captain is strolling on deck, sees something suspicious and lifts the cover discovering the girl. He yells “STOWAWAY!”

Scared she explains: “Dont be mad at me sir. One of your sailors stowed me away to take me home to Poland, and is having sex with me for payment!”

“No kidding? Lady… this is the Staten Island Ferry!”

One night a group of middle aged women decided they would sit around, watch movies and drink.

As they sat there trying to decide what they wanted, they came to the choice of getting six packs each.

The only woman that seemed like she had a problem was the airhead blonde.

Trying to figure out what the problem was, one of the girlfriends asked,”Whats the problem? You think you need more?”

The blonde replied,”I dont know. How many beers are in a six pack?”

How can you tell when a blonde is having a bad day? Her tampon is behind her ear and she can’t find her pencil

There is three girls in a 1000metre swimming race one Blonde swims 500metres and saids i am too tired i have to go back!!!

Q. What did the blonde say after she said made up a blonde joke?

A. Hahahaaaa who knew making jokes about reds was so fun.

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?

Run like hell cause she’s got a grenade in her mouth!

A: How did the blonde break her arm while she was raking leaves?
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A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: Why did the blonde take a ladder to the bar?
A: Because she heard that drinks were on the house!