Category: blondes

Q: What goes “Vroom!..screech..Vroom!..screech”?

A: A blonde at a flashing red light.

A blondes dad said go rake the leaves so she goes out and starts raken the leaves out of the tree

Once there was a blonde that bought a house. she want to name her new house.

so she said “the next thing I hear I will name my house!” so she went down the street and the first thing she heard was “hairy butt”

then she went and bought a dog. and said the next thing she heard she will anme the dog it!!! The next thing she heard was “huge zit”

the next day her dog ran away so she went to the police and said “I looked everywere on and in my hairy butt but I can not find my huge zit anywere!!!”

Why did the blonde lesbian buy a cat
she thought she could get some pussy

There was this blonde and she had just found out that her boyfriend had been cheating on her with her best friend and the rest of her school day wasnt going to well either so she says to her self “ugh my boyfriend just broke up with me, everything is going bad in my life and i have no reason to live i want to hang myself” so she goes home and finds a rope and she hangs herself from the porch well some guy walks by and sees her hanging off the porch by a rope and he asks her “what the hell are u doing?” and she tells him “ugh my boyfriend just broke up with me, everything is going bad in my life and i have no reason to live so im hanging my self” well he asks “why are u hanging from your waist arent u suppose to hang yourself from your throat” and the blonde says ” i tried that but i couldnt breathe!”

Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the Ladies Room, there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish. However, if one tells a lie, *POOF* you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again. A redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and stands before the mirror and says, “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.” *POOF* The mirror swallows her. Next, a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, “I think I think I’m the sexiest woman alive! *POOF* The mirror swallows her. Then an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the mirror and says, “I think…” *POOF*

What does a blonde think an innuendo is?

An Italian suppository.

guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.”I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,” she said.”What do you mean?”he asked.”Well, everyone kept yelling, “Get the quarter back!”

Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?

A: Frosted Flakes.

201. Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling ?
A: A blond electrician

202. Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A1: So brunettes can remember them.
A2: Because blonds are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn’t fit.

203. Q: Why wasn’t the Virgin Mary a blonde ????
A: She wouldn’t have been old enough to bear children!

204. Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

205. Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A: A thought.

206. Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

207. Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.

208. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband’s car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.

209. Q: Why did they call the blond twinkie?
A: She liked to be filled with cream.

210. Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period?
A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?

211. Q: Why do blondes have periods?
A: They deserve them

212. Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: “Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?”

213. Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they’re simple, easy and they taste good.

214. Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

215. Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.

216. Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor?
A: By the ears.

217. Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.

218. Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?
A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!

219. Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde’s ass?
A: A brain tumor.

220. Q: Why do blonde’s find it difficult to marry?
A: Because you don’t have to marry them for sex!

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100 — 1 to screw it in and 99 to say I can do
that!

How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day? She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can’t find her pencil.