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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
There are 3 blondes hanging onto a car which is dangling of a cliff.
One blonde goes to the other two “the cars starting to move,one of us are going to have to let go to save the other two”
Then one blonde goes its not me,The other says its not me either
so the 3rd blonde says ok it will be me.
And the two other blondes start claping.
What do you call a zit on a blondes ass? Brain tumor.
She was soooo blonde…
* she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
* she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
* she sold the car for gas money.
* she thought a quarterback was a refund.
* she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
* she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
* she thought Taco Bell was where you pay your phone bill.
* she told me to meet her at the corner of “WALK” and “DON’T WALK”.
* she tried to alphabetize M&M’s.
* she tried to drown a fish.
* she wrote “Capricorn” on the application where it said, “sign here”.
Q: What do peroxide blondes and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.
A milkman was making his deliveries and found a note attached to a customers door saying “I need 45 gallons of milk.” He knocked on the door and a beautiful blond answered it.”Is this a mistake?” the milkman asked.”No,” she said, “I was watching a talk show and it said that bathing in milk is good for your skin.” “Really?” replied the milkman.”Do you want it pasteurised?” “No, up to my tits would be fine,” she said
What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
FULL.
How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax? It has a stamp on it.
Why do blondes have TGIF on the front of their shirts?It stands for tits go in front.
Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
A blonde went to the hospital because her body hurt. She told the doctor that where ever she touched herself it would hurt. The doctor told her to demonstrate. She touched her elbow and it hurt. She touched her callf and it hurt. The doctor asked her if she was a blonde and she said yes.”Thats why!!!!!!!!” “Your finger is broken!”
Linda Burnett, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda’s eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she’d been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains.She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.And, yes, Linda is a blonde.