Category: blondes

how can you tell a blonde has been at a coputer?
there is whiteout all over the screen

It was one evening in a pub and after guzzling down six beers,
the man wanted to go home, when he realized he had no money. So
he tried to sneak out when the blond barman said, “Uhm… will
you pay for your drinks please?” The man replied, “I paid you
remember?” “OK then,” the blond bartender replied, “If you said
you paid me then you must have paid me.”

So the man, fair chuffed with what had happened walked down the
street and saw his mate going towards the very same pub.

“You going the pub?” the man asked. “yeah!” his mate replied.
“Well you can get free beers. If he asks you to pay just say
you’ve already paid.”

So he did, and got away with it. So he told his mate who was a
tramp and would lick the ground for a little food. He had no
money and could never afford a beer.

So in went the tramp and ordered a beer.

The bartender said, “You know what? Two people have got away
with free pints tonight and the next person that tries it on
will get their ass kicked out of the pub.”

The tramp replied, “No time to listen! Just pass me my change
and I’ll drink this and be on my way.”

“How much change was it again?”

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?

A: Her IQ goes up!

Q: There was a blonde and a brunette on a cliff they had to jump to get down who do you think got down first?

A: The brunette, because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions and fix her makeup.

Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A. Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.

If a blonde and a dog came to your door. Which would u let in, the blonde or the dog?

answer: dog, because the dog would shut up and the blonde wouldn’t

A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game. In the beggining of the game the teams flipped a quarter to see who would get the ball first. One of the teams got the ball. The game ended. The guy asked his blonde girlfriend if she liked the game. She replied with a yes and then said they were yelling get the quarterback the whole game though, I cant beleive what would have happened if it had been a dollar!

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of cheerios?
Oh! Look!! Doughnut seeds!!!

Three blondes died together in an automobile accident on Easter Sunday. As they line up at the Pearly Gates of heaven, St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.St. Peter asks the first blonde, ‘What is Easter?’ The blonde replies, ‘Oh, that’s easy! It’s the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful…”Wrong!,’ replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, ‘What is Easter?’The second blonde replies, ‘Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus.’St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she’s wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, ‘What is Easter?’The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, ‘I know what Easter is.”Oh really?’ says St. Peter, incredulously.’Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder.’St. Peter smiles broadly with delight.The third blonde continues, ‘Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out…and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter.’

Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a barstool.

After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”

The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet.

In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something, the bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate.

What’s more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she’s a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she’s a wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown

Q: Did you hear about the dead blonde in the closet?A: She was last years hide and seek winner.