Category: blondes

Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money? She sold her car for it.

Q: How do you drown a blond?A: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head.”I need to take that walkman off your head,” says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde.”You can’t! I’ll die!” retorts the blonde.”I can’t cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!” says the beauty specialist getting annoyed.”I said you can’t take it off, or I’ll die!”The beauty specialist, outraged and flustered, grabs the walkman and throws it off the head of the blonde. Within seconds, the blonde dies. When the specialist picks up the walkman to listen, she hears it repeating “breath in, breath out, breath in”.

A depressed young blonde was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the harbor.

When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said:
‘Look, you’ve got a lot to live for. I’m off to Europe in the morning, and if you like I can stow you away on my ship. I’ll take good care of you and bring you food every day.’
Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added,
‘I’ll keep you happy, and you’ll keep me happy.’

The blonde nodded ‘Yes.’ After all, what did she have to lose?

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat.

From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine search, the captain discovered her.

‘What are you doing here?’ the captain asked.

‘I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,’ she explained, ‘He’s taking me to Europe, and he’s screwing me.’

‘He sure is, lady,’ said the captain. ‘This is the harbor ferry.’

One day, a blonde’s neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened.

The blonde said that her mother had passed away.

The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left.

The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again.

She asked her why she was crying this time.

The blonde said, “I just got off of the phone with my sister. Her mother died too!”

A blonde went to a hair dresser’s one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, “I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off.” The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde’s hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard…”breath in…breath out…breath in…breath out…”!

There are 10 blondes and 1 red-head. They were going bungi jumping and they all were holding one bungi rope. So the red-head says ” i am just going to let go because we are going to fall anyways. So the blondes start clapping.

Two Blondes and a Brunette visit their friends house. The two blondes jump up and down at the window and scream, but no one comes to the window? What does the brunette do?Knocks on the door!—Editor’s note: If you had to think about the joke, then don’t feel so dang dark haired about yourself.

Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?A: She fell out of the tree.

What is a brunette between two blondes? An interpreter.

There were 12 people climbing Mount Everest. 11 were blondes, 1 a brunette. At one point, they had to use a rope. Half way up the rope (about 100 ft. high), the rope started tearing. They decided one person needed to jump off and sacrifice themself in order for them all to survive. The brunette gave a long, heart-warming speech of how she was going to sacrifice herself for the others. Everyone started crying. Once she was through, all the blondes clapped loudly.

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby’s diapers every month?

A: Because it says right on it “good for up to 20 pounds.”