Category: blondes

Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

There were these three women. One blonde, one red, and one brunet. They were all about to be shot. One by one. When the brunet came up, the man asked “Do you have any last words before you die?” The brunet said “No.” Then the man said, “Ok. Ready, aime…” then before the man could finish the bunet yelled, “Earthquake!!” Then everyone ran and so escaped. Then when the red head came up, the man said, “Do you have any last words before you die?” The red head said, “No.” Then the man said, “Ok. Ready, aime…” then before the man could finish the red head yelled, “Tornando!!” Then everyone ran and the red head escaped. Then when the blonde came up, the man said, “Do you have any last words before you die?” The blonde said, “No.” Then the man said, “Ok. Ready, aime…” then before the man could finish the blonde yelled, “FIRE!!”

Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a walrus?
A: One has whiskers and fishy flaps, and the other is a walrus.

What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common? They both swallowed a lot of semen.

What does a blonde do when she wakes up? Go home!

Me: Hey, Donna, how do you make a blonde laugh twice in a row?Donna: I dunno. How?Me: Tell her the same dumb blonde joke twice in a row.Me: Hey Donna, how do you make a blonde laugh twice in a row?

Q: Why do blondes always rapidly flap their hands towards theirs ears?A: They’re refuelling.

One day a lovely brunette walked into a doctors office and said doc my whole body is broken. Why do u say that says the doctor. Well when ever i touch any part of my body it hurts see,she touched her waist owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww she screams,then she touches her knee and she screams owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.What should i do she askes. Well ur body is’nt broken. ur not a real brunette are u the doc askes! no i’m not,i’m a blonde says the oung lady! Well ur body isnt broken ur god damn figer is broken!Idiot

Q:How do you drown a blonde?
A1: put a mirror at the bottom
A2: put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

One sunny day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a red Mitsubishi 3000GT for speeding. He walked up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. Immediately, he was stunned by just how beautiful she was! Probably the most beautiful blonde he’d ever laid eyes on. I’ve pulled you over for speeding, Ma’am…. could I see your drivers license
and registration please.” “…What’s a license…???” replied the blonde. Big blue eyes sweetly looking up at him. “Your drivers license is generally in a wallet”, replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. “Now may I see your registration?..” asked the cop. “Registration?….. What’s that….?” asked the blonde. “It’s usually in your glove compartment…” said the cop patiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration. “Thank you Ma’am. I’ll be back in a minute…” said the cop and walked back to his patrol car. The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman’s license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back; “Ummm….is this woman driving a red sports car?” “Yes….” replied the officer. “Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?” asked the dispatcher. “Uh… yes” replied the cop. “Here’s what you do….” said the dispatcher. “Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants…” “WHAT!!? I can’t do that. Its….. inappropriate…” exclaimed the cop. “Trust me….. just do it….” said the dispatcher. So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs…”Ohh no… not ANOTHER breathalyzer…”

Why did they stop doing the ‘wave’ at BYU?Too many blondes were drowning.

OK, so there’s this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She’s cruisin’ about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road.

The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it.

The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, “Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!” She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, “While you weren’t looking I stepped out of the circle!”