Category: blondes

An office exec was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality.”If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?””I’d have to say the living one.”

TWO BLONDES WALKED INTO A BIULDEN.

Q: Why don’t blondes eat pickles?
A: Because they can’t get their head in the jar.

Two sisters inherited the family ranch. Unfortunately, after
just a few years, they were in financial trouble. In order to
keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they needed to
purchase a bull so that they could breed their own stock.

The sister who balanced their checkbook, a brunette, took their
last 600 dollars out west to a ranch where a man had a prize
bull for sale. Upon leaving, she told her blonde sister, “When I
get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to
drive out after me and haul it home.”

The brunette arrived at the man’s ranch, inspected the bull, and
decided she did want to buy it. The man told her that he would
sell it for 599 dollars, no less. After paying him, she drove to
the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the
news.

She walked into the telegraph office, and said, “I want to send
a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for
our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck
and drive out here so we can haul it home.”

The telegraph operator explained that he’d be glad to help her,
then added, “It’s just 99 cents a word.” Well, after paying for
the bull, the brunette only had 1 dollar left. She realized that
she’d only be able to send her sister one word.

After thinking for a few minutes, she nodded, and said, “I want
you to send her the word, ‘comfortable.'”

The telegraph operator shook his head. “How is she ever going to
know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck
and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you
send her the word, ‘comfortable’?”

The sister explained, “She’ll read it very slowly:
Come-for-the-bull”

How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day?

She has a tampon behind her ear and she can’t find her pencil!

QUESTION: WHY DID THE BLONDE STARE AT THE FROZEN JUICE CONTAINER FOR 2 HOURS?

ANSWER: BECAUSE IT SAID “CONCENTRATE”

Q: whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

A:When you slap a mosquito on the head it stops suckin

Why don’t a blondes guts fall out of her twat when she stands?

Because the vacuum in her head keeps them in place.

A man is mowing his lawn and his Blonde female neighbor goes out and open’s her mail box, after she slams it shut hard. He say’s whatever then goes in the backyard to get the rake for raking the leaves, as he does his neighbor goes out to check the mail again and the same thing happens and this repeats itself for about 5 times. He finally decides to go over, he asks” Is something the matter?” and she says ” Yeah my computer keeps saying that I have mail.

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?

A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: How do you change a blonde’s mind?A: Blow in her ear.

One day there was a blonde complaining to her best friend.

Blonde: I’m sick and tired of bieng called a dumb blonde!!

Friend: Well you should prove them wrong somehow. Try learning the state capitals!

Blonde: Great idea!

A few days later,thier was a party and the blonde’s friend invited her.

Jock: Hey look! Its a dumb blonde!

Blonde: I’m not dumb!I know the state capitals!

Jock: Oh yeah? Prove it! Whats the capital of Montana?

Blonde: Thats easy! It’s “M”.