Category: blondes

How do you drown a blonde?

Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool

Why couldn’t the blonde bob for apples?His sister was using the toilet.

What did Santa say to the three blondes? Hoe hoe hoe

Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons? Because they have blond boyfriends

How can you tell if your landcaping was done by a blonde?

Your bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

One day a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead went on a camping trip. The first night out, the redhead went hunting, and came back in the morning with a huge deer. The blonde asked, “How did you kill that deer?”

The redhead said, “Well, I followed the tracks of the deer and shot it.

The second night, the brunnete went hunting and came back in the morning with a big deer. The blonde once again asked, “How did you kill that deer?”

The brunnette said, “I just followed the tracks and shot it.”

The third night, the blonde went out hunting, and came back in the morning with a ripped shirt, bloody nose, and her hair all messed up. The redhead and the brunnette asked her what happened, and the blonde said, “I followed the tracks but then the train hit me.”

Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper? So she could lip read.

Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? A: To see what was on the other side.

There were these three women. One blonde, one red, and one brunet. They were all about to be shot. One by one. When the brunet came up, the man asked “Do you have any last words before you die?”The brunet said “No.”Then the man said, “Ok. Ready, aime…”then before the man could finish the bunet yelled, “Earthquake!!” Then everyone ran and so escaped. Then when the red head came up, the man said, “Do you have any last words before you die?”The red head said, “No.”Then the man said, “Ok. Ready, aime…”then before the man could finish the red head yelled, “Tornando!!” Then everyone ran and the red head escaped. Then when the blonde came up, the man said, “Do you have any last words before you die?”The blonde said, “No.”Then the man said, “Ok. Ready, aime…”then before the man could finish the blonde yelled, “FIRE!!”

Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?

Because she loved children.

A blonde travels to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She meets a foreman of a logging organization who offers to give her a job.”Now, I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day,” the foreman told her.The blonde woman didn’t see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best. She came back drenched in sweat.”Geez lady, how many trees did you cut down?” asked the foreman.”6″ she replied.”What!? You have to do better than that. Get up earlier tomorrow!” So she did. Out she went with the chainsaw, she came back that night exhausted.”How many this time?” asked the foreman.”12″ she said. The foreman says, “That does it. I’m coming out there with you tomorrow morning!” The next morning, the foreman reaches the first tree and says, “This is how to cut down trees really quickly.” He pulls the rope on the chainsaw and it gives off a loud BRRRRRRUUUMMM. He notices the blonde is looking at him frantically, so he asks her what’s wrong.And she replies, “What the hell is that noise?”

One day a brunette, redhead, and blonde joined the army as spies. They were captured together and set up against a wall to be shot seperately. The General said they had one last word they could say before they were shot by his men with their guns ready.

The brunette yelled out “Earthquake!!!” and everyone fled to their barracks and she escaped.

The redhead yelled out “Tornadoe!!!” and everyone fled to their barracks and she escaped.

The Blonde after seeing these things happen yelled out “Fire!!!” – and was shot on the spot.