Category: blondes

Two blondes decided to split a can of Diet Pepsi. One blonde opened the can, and poured half the contents into her own glass, and half into her friend’s glass. Before tossing the can, she stopped to read the nutritional information on the side.”‘Only one calorie per can’,” she read aloud.”Hmm,” murmured the other blonde.”I wonder which glass has the calorie?”

HAVE U EVER HEARD OF THE BLONDE THAT TRIED TO DROWN A FISH?

A blonde and a brunette both jump off a cliff at the same time. Which one will
hit the bottom first?

The brunette, because the blonde has to ask for directions.

Did you hear bout the tragedy at the mall??

There was a power shortage at the mall and 4 blondes were stuck on the escalator for 4 hours!!!lol

A young blonde female stock broker was bored with driving her BMW. It lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps a MG convertible.

That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with it’s gorgeous red paint job. An empty check stub later and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong?

At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car slowly coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet and concluded after a few minutes that she didn’t have a bloody clue what was wrong. Luckily she had her mobile phone with her and a quick phone call to the AutoClub and a short wait saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her.

“That’s a lovely car,” said the mechanic. “What seems to be the matter?” “Well, it just conked out I’m afraid.”

“Let me have look.” He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was purring like a cat again.

“Thank goodness,” she said. “What was the matter?” “Simple really, just crap in the carburetor,” he replied.

Looking shocked she asked, “Oh, OK… How many times a week do I have to do that?”

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair
of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the
high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the
shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own
alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!”
The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and
catch yourself a big one!” Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the
swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young
woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a
huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the
creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying
nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in
amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and
frustrated, shouts out, “Damn it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”

If a Blonde and a Brunette jump off a cliff at the same time, which one
gets to the ground first?

Answer: The brunette… the blonde has to stop and ask for directions!

what does tgif stand for

tits go in front

Why do blondes like BMW’s? Because they can spell it

Why was the blonde wearing her sunglasses?
She was having sunny periods.

What did the blonde say to her swimming instructor?

If you pull your finger out will I really sink?

What did the blonde say when she looked in a Cheerios box?

“Ohhh look, donut seeds!”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman