Category: blondes

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!” The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!” Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, “Damn it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”

Q: Why do blondes have orgasms?

A: So they know when to stop having sex!

there are two blonds in a car and one in a row boat in the middle of a wheat feild trying to row. the two blonds pass bye and one sayes its blonds like that that give us bad names. and the other one said ya if i could swim i would get out there and kick her ass.

In downtown Roanoke, at a crowded bus stop, a good friend of mine was waiting for her bus. She’s very attractive and was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn’t!

So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt.

So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step.

About this time a big burly man that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus. Well, she went ballistic and turned to the would-be hero screeching at him “How dare you touch me!! I don’t even know who you are!”

At this, the big guy drawled, “Well ma’am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends!”

How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree

One day, a blond, a brunette, and a redhead were all driving in
a car when the car crashed. Minutes later they appeared up in
heaven. God says to them “Ahead are 100 stairs, at each stair
you will be told a joke, if you laugh you will take the one way
train to Hell, if you remain silent, you will continue on. If
you make it to the top, you will stay in Heaven.” So the
brunette started up the stairs. At the 55th stair she laughed,
and was sent abroad the train to hell. The redhead started to
climb but laughed at the 79th stair and got on the train to
Hell. The blond started up and made it to the 100th stair. She
paused, then began laughing non stop. Shocked, God asked her
why she had laughed. Still laughing she replied, “I finally got
the first joke!”

Once there was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had to go to
the desert and take one thing.

The brunette took a water bottle, the redhead took an umbrella and the
blonde took a car-door.

They were walking in the desert with their objects and 3 men came up to
them and said to the Brunette, “why have you got a water bottle?” The
Brunette replied,” To drink water!”

They asked the redhead,”why do you have an umbrella?” She said,”Because if
it gets hot I can have some shade.”

Then they asked the blonde,” Why do you have a car-door?” She replied,” If
it gets hot all I have to do is roll down the window!”

A blonde is on board a small two seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio.

“Mayday, mayday! My pilot just died!”

Ground control receive her call for help and answers back:

“Don’t worry, madam. I’ll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position”

“I’m 5″2′ and sitting in the front”

What does a smart blonde have in common with UFOs?

We keep hearing about them, but we never see any.

A blonde’s house was on fire. She was
hysterical and called the Fire Department.

The man said, now calm down lady and tell us how to get to your house.

The blonde answered, “Dah

Their were three blondes on an island, not to far away from the other side, but far enough not able to swim across.

One of the blondes goes up to a lamp on the sand and rubs the lamp. The genie comes out and says, “I will give you each one wish.””

One of the blondes walks up and says

A blonde and a brunette went to a football game. When it was over, the blonde said to the brunette, “Why in the world did those two teams fight over a lousy quarter?”” The brunette