Category: blondes

why did the blonde die her hair brown?

so people would stop talking about her!!!

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.

Q. Why do blondes like lightning?
A. They think someone is taking their picture.

A Blonde airhead goes for a job interview in an office.
The interviewer starts with the basics.
“So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?”

The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying “Ehhhh… 22!”

The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice.
“And can you tell us your height, please?”

The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces “Five foot two!”

This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the interviewee won’t have to count, measure, or lookup.
“Just to confirm for our records, your name please?”

The airhead bobs her head from side to side for about ten seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying “MANDY!”

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks –
“What in the world were you doing when I asked you your name?”

“Ohhhh, that!” replies the airhead…
” I was just running through that song –
‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear…’ “

How does a blonde like her eggs?

Unfertilized.

Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is?

A: An Italian suppository.

A blonde goes into an appliance store looking for a tv. After a few minutes, she picks one out and approaches the salesman.”I want to buy this television,” she says. The salesman replies, “Sorry, we don’t serve blondes here.” She gets mad, leaves and goes home. She dyes her hair brown and returns to the store.”I want to buy this television.” she says to the salesman, getting the same response: “Sorry miss, we don’t serve blondes here.” She leaves again, frustrated.She goes home and proceeds to shave her head, eyebrows and all, leaving no visible trace of blonde hair on her head. Upon returning to the store, she once again approaches the salesman.”Sir, I would like to purchase this television, and I don’t want any problems.” To which the salesman replies, “Sorry Miss, we don’t serve blondes.” Fed up with this, she cries, “How can you tell that I am blonde? I have dyed my hair and even resorted to shaving my head!” To which the salesman replied, “Well, Miss, that television you are trying to buy is a microwave!”

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone.The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it’s her husband, “Hi hun,” he says “How do you like your new phone?”She replies “I just love, it’s so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there’s one thing I don’t understand though.””What’s that, baby?” asks the husband.”How’d you know I was at Wal-mart?”, she quietly replied…

One time a brunette got hit with an apple and cried and then a red head got hit with a pumpkin and cried and then a blonde didnt know there was a bomb in her house so she farted and the house blew up and then she laughed… ha ha ha…

oh ya just becuz i am a blonde dont meen i cant make fun of them.

Suicidal blonde

A blonde girl got so mad about blonde jokes she decided to kill herself.

She finds a suitable tree and proceeds to hang herself by the ankles.

Two guys come over and say, “Are you trying to kill yourself?”

The blonde replies, “Yes, I am.”

One of the men says, “Then shouldn’t you hang the rope on your neck instead of your ankles?”

The blonde says, “I tried that, but I couldn’t breathe.”

There were two blondes going to Disneyland. They saw this road sign that said “Disneyland left”, so they turned around and went home.

Q: How do you drown a blond?
A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A2: Don’t tell her to swallow.
A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.