Category: blondes

A blonde is walking down the street with a guinea pig under her arm.

She passes a person who asks, “Where did you get that?”

The pig says, “I won her in a raffle!”

What do you call a blonde mother-in-law?

An air bag.

Why did the blond take a ladder into the bar?
She heard the drinks were on the house.

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, “I’m going to try to swim to shore.” So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The second one, the redhead, said to herself, “I wonder if she made it. I guess it’s better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve.” So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

So the blonde thought to herself, “I wonder if they made it! I think I’d better try to make it, too.” So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, “I’m too tired to go on!” So she swam back.

There are more jokes like this at http://www.humorshack.com

There were 2 blondes walking in the woods. One of them had a bag. So the one with the bag said to the other girl,”If you can guess how many cookies are in my bag I’ll give you both of them!””

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blond and her blond boyfriend went for a walk along the river.

The blond walked across alone on a wooden bridge. After crossing the river, the bridge fell down.

She called across to her blond boyfriend telling him that she couldn’t get back.

He yelled in response, “Wait until dark, and I will shine my flash light across the river. Get on the light beam and walk back.”

She replied, “No, I’ll get half way across the river, and you will turn the light off on me!”

A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she’s low on gas, so she stops at a gas station.

While she’s pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door herself.

She returns outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant comes out to see how the blonde is doing.

Outside the car, the blonde is moving the hanger around and around while the blonde inside the car is saying…

“A little more to the left…a little more to the right”

Did ya hear about the blonde lesbian? She liked guys!

A blonde walked into a bar. She sat down and started chanting, ” 37 days! 37 days!” The bartender asked what she was doing, but she didn’t answer, just kept chanting “37 days! 37 days!” Soon more blondes came in, all chanting “37 days! 37 days!” The bartender again asked what they were doing, and one of them held up a little kid’s bunny-rabbit jigsaw puzzle and said, ” The box says 2-4 years, but we put it together in 37 days!”

A blonde goes to a store’s deodorant display and tells the clerk, “I need to buy some deodorant for my husband.”

“Does he use the ball kind?” inquired the clerk.

“No,” replied the blonde, “The kind for under his arms.”

A blonde and a brunette are hijacking a convertable. The blonde picks the lock and the brunnette jumps in.

A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off.

“How did this happen?” the doctor asked.
“Well I was trying to commit suicide,” the blonde replied.

“Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?”

“No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, “I just paid $6,000 for these,” then I put it in my mouth and I thought, “I just paid $4,000 to get my teeth straightened.”

So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought, “this is going to make a loud noise,” so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the trigger?”