Category: blondes

Blonde in First Class

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A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn’t have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job, and I’m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.”

The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job and I’m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.” The head stewardesses doesn’t even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blonde is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.

The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, “I told her the front half of the airplane wasn’t going to Jamaica.”

Car Dimmer Switch Modification

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STATE OF CALIFORNIA
DEPARTMENT OF INSURANCE
1700 “J” STREET
SACRAMENTO, CA 95368

PETE WILSON HARRY WALBRATH
GOVERNOR DIRECTOR

BULLETIN NUMBER 95-2374
DATE: OCTOBER 20, 1995

TO: ALL CALIFORNIA INSURANCE AGENCIES
ALL CALIFORNIA DEALERS OF NEW/USED AUTOMOBILES

FROM: CALIFORNIA DEPARTMENT OF INSURANCE

SUBJ: AUTOMOTIVE VEHICLE HEADLAMP DIMMER SWITCH

1. Pursuant to the California Department of Motor Vehicles Act Number DMV 95-79221, all motor vehicles sold in the State of California after November 1, 1995 will be required to have the headlamp dimmer switch mounted on the floor of the vehicle. The dimmer switch must be mounted in a position accessible to operation by pressing the switch with the left foot. The switch must be far enough removed from the left foot pedals to avoid any inadvertent operation and/or pedal confusion.

2. Included in the above act, and beginning January 1, 1996 all other vehicles with steering mounted switches must be retrofitted with a floor mounted dimmer switch of the type described above. The steering column mounted dimmer switch must be disabled or removed from the vehicle. Vehicles which have not made this change will fail the forthcoming California State Safety Inspection which will begin on this date.

3. It is recognized that this will cause some difficulties and hardship for the driving public. However, this change is being made in the interest of public safety. A recent study entitled Initiation Sequence in California Night Time Highway Traffic Accidents was conducted jointly by the California Department of Highway Patrol and the California Department of Motor Vehicles along with the University of California at Berkeley Public Safety Research Department. In this study it has been shown that 90-95% of all California night time traffic accidents are caused by a blonde getting her foot caught in the steering wheel in an attempt to dim the headlamps of her vehicle.

The microwave

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a blonde walks into big lots she goes to the check out and asks can i buy this microwave the cashier says no we dont sell to blondes.So the blonde comes back the next day with brown hair she once again asks can i buy this microwave the cashier again replies no we dont sell to blondes.So one week later the blonde comes back with gray hair and once again asks can i buy this microwave the cashier says no we dont sell to blondes. Well the blonde says how do you know im a blonde well i know you dont wear glasses and only blondes couldnt figure this out its not a microwave its a t.v.

Emergency

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A blond’s car breaks down on a busy highway. She manages to ease
it over to the shoulder and gets out and opens the trunk.
Immediately two men clothed only in trench coats leap out of the
trunk and begin to open and close their coats, exposing
themselves to the oncoming traffic. Pretty soon a police officer
stops. “What’s going on here?” asks the cop. “My car just broke
down.” responds the blond. “NO, I mean those two perverts.” the
cop continues. “Oh,” the blond replies, “They’re just my
emergency flashers.”

After The Crash

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A blonde, a brunette, and a man are driving in their pick-up truck.

The brunette was sitting up front with the man and the blonde was in the back.

While driving across a bridge the man lost control of the truck and drove over the side of the bridge!

After the truck had sunk, the man and brunette fought their way out of the cab and surfaced.

A couple of minutes later the blonde came out of the water, panting and breathless.

“Where have you been?” asked the man.

Exasperated, she said, “I can�t believe you left me down there! I couldn’t get the tailgate open!”