A blonde manfratically calls 911 and says, “Help, my wife has gone into labur and her contractons are ten minutes apart!” The 911operator asks,”Is this her first child?” To which the blonde replies” ofcourse not you idiot, this is her husband!”
Category: blondes
Blonde screen door
Q:How is a blonde and a screen door alike?
A:The harder you bang them the looser they get.
Elevator jobs
Why don’t blondes have elevator jobs?
They don’t know the route.
Triplets
A blonde had just given birth to triplets. Her friend had told
her to call her as soon as the baby was born. So the new mother
rang up her pal immediately and asked her to come.
As soon as the friend saw the babies she shrieked, “They’re
adorable!”
“Hmmm,” the blonde said, “I know, it’s difficult to pick which
one I should keep.”
English Channel
A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition.The brunette came in first, the redhead second.The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted.After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked; “I don’t want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms.”
Island
There are three woman on a island and land is 300 yards away. A
brunette, a redhead and a blonde. The brunette swims 150 yards
and dies. The redhead swims 200 yards and dies. But the blonde
swims 250 yards and gets tired so she swims back.
Blonde on a 747
A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting,”BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO…..”She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts “BE SILENT!”There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting,”OEING! OEING! OEING! OE….”
A dope ring.
What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A know-it-all bitch.
the blonde and the zit
A blonde went to the bathroom to pop her huge zit on her boob. When her friend walked in asked her what she was doing, the blonde replied, “Trying to pop this huge zit on my boob!”
Her friend answered, “That’s not a zit. That’s your nipple!”
Weight Loss
Q. how does a blonde loose 5 lbs?
A. She takes off her make-up.
Cheer
Q: What’s the blonde’s cheer?
A: “I’m blonde, I’m blonde, I’m B. L. O. N. . . . ah, oh well. . I’m blonde, I’m blonde, yea yea yea. . . “
Best For Dinner
Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.