A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink
and while he’s drinking the monkey jumps all around all over the
place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them,
then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps on the
pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and
swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey
just did?”
The guy says, “No what?”
“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!” Says the
bartender.
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the patron. “He eats
everything in sight. I will pay for the cue ball and stuff.” He
finishes his drink, pays his bill and leaves.
Two weeks later he’s in the bar again, and he has his monkey
with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around
the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey
finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up
his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did
now?” He asks.
“Now what?” Responds the patron.
“Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it
out and ate it!” says the barkeep.
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the patron. “He still
eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that blasted cue
ball he measures everything first!”